Taste Like Crazy

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This is what my child does for fun.

*She’s gonna LOVE this picture in about ten years.*

Today is THE day that I’m deciding on baby shower invitations. I’m tired of obsessively searching the world wide web for new and exciting undiscovered graphic artists who are just starting out and have REALLY COOL DESIGNS for next to nothing.

I think that I’ve finally realized that if they are “exciting and undiscovered” then they most likely either don’t have a website or if they do have a website then their site listing via Google will probably be on page 1000 and I’m just not that interested in wading through 1000 pages to find them.

Sorry exciting and undiscovered graphic artists. We could have been great friends.

I think I’ve whittled the list down to a modest five offerings. I’ll post the pictures and then you tell me which you prefer.

#1 Elephant Invitation

#2 Prego Belly

#3 Screaming Baby

#4 Baby Carriage

#5 Zoo Invitation

#6 Owl Invitation

Whether you’re making up a list of people to invite to a wedding or to a baby shower, you always end up including people you don’t really want to have show up.

Let’s be honest.

Do you REALLY want your Great Aunt Lucille, who’s a bitch to everyone, alienating all of your friends?

Didn’t think so.

Since most people [myself included] don’t want to be the “bad guy” when it comes to doling out invitations, you invite everyone…and secretly hope that certain people are otherwise engaged.

That’s what I’m running into - the obligatory invitation.

Since I’m wanting to do a more relaxed sort of affair, there are some relatives who I know will not play nicely with other relatives if allowed to remain in the same room for longer than thirty minutes and are required to carry on a casual conversation.

Since both of my parents have been married twice, I’m confronted with the daunting task of inviting relatives who dislike my [now ex] step-mom and inviting cousins who I haven’t willingly spoken with in a year. [Of course I'm not talking about you! I'm talking about other relatives! Promise.]

And then there’s the invitation choice.

While I can completely appreciate how the weight of paper and the type of ink used on an invitation directly affects the price of said invitation, I don’t particularly feel the need to spend $445.50 on 50 invitations.

My family isn’t really known for keeping their opinions to themselves so I expect to get a call [or ten] concerning whatever invitation I choose.

If I go downright “classic” like the $445.50 offering then I’ll get complaints about the invitation being plain and boring. If I choose something like the owl invitation at the beginning of the post then I run the risk of being too “wacky” and not taking the occasion seriously.

My feeling on the whole deal is that I’m the one paying for the damn things and that it’s my damn shower and that I’ll buy whatever damn invitation I choose. Damn it.

On the name front, Tucker’s pushing the name Nicholaus and calling the boy Klaus for short.

I’m considering pushing him from a high cliff.

Test test test test test test.

You gotta love it when your blog plays nice.

So, as much as I LOVE to blame my host [cause they're the spawn of Satan] this time my blog’s “issues” were due to some sort of upgrade fuck up.

Am I taking credit for this screw-up?

NEVER!

Am I glad that my blog isn’t autosaving every second?

You betchya.

—

The name search for the slug continues.

Before Tucker and I were ever married, I came up with a girl name and a boy name. Both names held family ties and were/are very traditional. The boy name is James Robert. I knew that he wouldn’t be called James or Robert and that we would shorten the name that he was called and probably call him something like Robby. At the time [when I wasn't knocked up] our plan seemed perfect.

However, now that my brain is floating in pregnancy hormones, I’m just not happy with calling him by his middle name and a nickname at that. Tucker’s dealt with being called by his middle name all of his life and it’s made things interesting for him to say the least. I call him by his last name since everyone in his fraternity called him by his last name. His parents and family call him by his middle name and the military calls him by his first name. I don’t want my kid going through that shit. Also, the thought of someone calling him Jim Bob for short just makes me want to gouge out my ears.

So, I broke down today and bought a baby name book. I knew this day was coming. It’s only fair that this would happen since we were so smug with the last pregnancy and snickered at the pregos who bought name books. “Look at us and our pre-picked name. We’re so superior.”

Ok. We never said that and I’m pretty sure that I never thought those exact words but I’m sure that some other smug thought crossed my tiny little brain.

Now I’m the prego with the 100,000 BABY NAMES!!! book sitting on my desk.I’ve made it to “F”. I want to cry just a little bit. I’m thinking about just picking some random letter for his middle name. Something that won’t result in his initials spelling out something stupid. The letter won’t mean a damn thing but at least I can quit looking for a fucking middle name for him. [I'm joking...I think.]

One of my aunts has decided to throw me another baby shower. What’s really cool is that she threw me a shower for Cara almost exactly two years ago. Wait. Maybe that’s a bit sad that it was only two years ago. Whatever.

With Cara’s shower, I really had no clue about the “type” of shower that I wanted. As long as it was the type where gifts were given and cake was served, I was golden.

This time things are a bit different.

I know what kind of cake I want and how I want it decorated - Brown and Tiffany blue please and it should look like Fondant but actually be buttercream.

I want a rather casual affair where the husbands show up and I’m not the center of attention cause not only does it freak me out when everyone is just sitting there watching me open gifts but I also want Tucker there this time. If I have to deal with relatives who I don’t particularly like then so should he. HE’s the one who got me into this thing.

I also want food. Real food. Not punch and finger foods. I want a meal.

I’m currently in the process of finding blank shower invitations. I’m going to print them myself and save a bundle. With Cara I obsessed over her bedding set. With this one I shall obsess over the baby shower/baby shower invitations.

Stay tuned for invitation options and poorly drawn cake ideas.

Let’s see if my blog’s still acting the same.

Testing.

1

2

3

Yep. Still the same. Oh well. If I continue to wait on my blog to “fix itself” then I’m doomed to never writing again.

Do you like the nifty little cartoon?

Tucker found it and I’m not quite sure how or why. Regardless, I rather enjoy it and think that it’s fairly pertinent to the crap that’s been going on around the internet recently. You’ll just have to trust me on this one cause my nice list of links has mysteriously disappeared.

The gist of the crap is that a story was written basically saying that parents who write about their kids are exploiting said kids. I personally think that’s a giant load of crap but I guess I would think that since I write about my kid.

The way I see it is that I write about what the hell is going on in my life. Here recently there hasn’t been much to write about since not much has been happening. If Cara does something shockingly cute or ridiculously stupid, I’m most likely going to write about it. But, it’s not like I’m telling her to go stick a fork in a light socket so that I can write about it. I don’t write anything that I wouldn’t tell her myself if she were interested.

Yeah. So that’s a very abbreviated post containing my views on the big ole stink.

I have a new obsession and I’m curious to see how long said obsession continues.

Coupons.

Yep, coupons.

Since Tucker will very soon be a full-time student again, we’re about to feel a money crunch. Not so much that we’re going to be living in cardboard boxes but enough that watching the sales ads and cutting or printing coupons now is a good idea.

Do you have ANY idea how many coupon sites are out there?!  Most are crap and duplicates and ask for TONS of personal info, but some are actually a good thing.

I’ve also made up a menu from tonight until the 15th of May.  When’s the last time you did that?  Yeah.  I can’t remember either.  Also, it’s hard as hell to come up with that many things to cook.  I think I have like six days worth of “left-over” days penciled in cause I’m doing things like baked ham and baked chicken.  Those are not things that should be wholly consumed in one sitting by two and a half people.

Upon further examination, it appears that my blog and not my host is having an issue.  I still hate my host though.  :)  Off to fight with Wordpress again.  I’ll let you know how the coupon hunting goes.

And did you guys catch that the slug has a penis?

I was going to write a thought provoking post in response to
Heather’s post. BUT, I’m beyond tired of fucking with my site right now and dealing with the one second delay that’s going on. In all fairness, I don’t know for sure that it’s my site’s fault; it could be my computer’s fault.

Anyway, hopefully by later this afternoon I’ll have sufficiently kicked both my site’s and my computer’s asses and they’ll play nicely together so that I can post something real.

Yeah, me neither.  Actually, I’m referring to those long gone days when I updated everyday and sometimes twice a day.

I’ve run into that proverbial wall where nothing seems really worthy of being written down.  Maybe that’s not totally true, but our day-to-day activities just really don’t seem that humorous or exciting right now.

So, on a very exciting note, I’m upgrading Wordpress AGAIN since they apparently released an unsecure version AGAIN and hopefully I won’t break my site…AGAIN.

Cara has always been physically advanced. She started “crawling” at like 6 wks old and walking when she was almost 10 months old…maybe right after she was nine months old.

ANYWAY, the point of all of that was to illustrate that she’s always run [literally] circles around her peers and we never really thought much about it. Wait. Now that I read that it kind of makes me sound like a douche. What I mean is that she’s always walked and we felt pretty secure in the fact that she was progressing along the milestone highway.

Well Mom calls me today to see when my appointment is [13:30 CST] and asked what we were doing. Tucker, Cara, Sophie, Oscar and I were all laying on the bed and naming anatomical parts. Cara would point to Oscar’s foot and say “this” and then it’s my job to say foot. Rinse and repeat four times since Oscar has four feet. Then, I would ask Cara where her feet are and she would shove one under my nose to be smelled.

Fun times.

Instead of being impressed by her granddaughter knowing tons of body parts, Mom asked me if Cara was saying them. Well, now that you mention it, no, no she isn’t. Thanks for making me worry about it.

Of course I had to preform a mini-science experiment to evaluate her comprehension and it’s stellar. I can ask her a detailed question that involves her bringing me a particular block that’s behind a certain piece of furniture and she’ll comply…assuming she’s in a good mood. Mind you, I don’t point or hold out my hand or anything to telegraph what I’m wanting her to do.

She knows what you’re saying to her and she comprehends it. She also says the occasional word but she’s definitely not speaking in sentences or reciting the Gettysburg Address.

I guess this will be one of the many questions that we get to ask Cara’s new Pediatrician on Friday. On the top of the list is what the hell we’re supposed to feed the bottomless pit child. Grapes, processed cheese product i.e. sliced cheese and Nathan’s Hot Dogs just can’t be a very healthy meal but damn it’s a tasty one.

Hopefully I’ll be able to update you with a picture of the slug and a gender determination.

On a completely random note, did you know that Banana Slugs are hermaphroditic?

Let’s just hope that our slug is a slug in name only.

It’s hard to take a program seriously that is titled “Your Baby Can Read!“. [Don't forget the exclamation point.]

It was with a rather skeptical heart that agreed to review this product for