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I Went to the Museum/Zoo and It was Fun!

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After about two and a half hours, I finally got to the Tallahassee Museum. Since Cara and I got there about thirty minutes before everyone and I had to pee, we went ahead and went in by ourselves.

Imagine me pushing Cara in her big ole stroller and trying to open the doors. It was rather humorous. After fighting my way through the damn door, I pulled out my wallet, fully expecting to shell out the eight smackers and the chick behind the counter let me in for free. Apparently someone left a couple of passes behind and their loss was my gain I guess. Sweet!

Once we’re through the door, I realize that I’m about to die of thirst. I stupidly decided to cram myself and the stroller into the product packed gift shop to get some water. I put the $1.50 bottle of over priced liquid goodness on the counter only to be told that I can’t charge anything under $5. Shit! I never carry cash so I reached behind me and grabbed a cute pewter turtle key chain. My $1.50 bottle of water had miraculously turned into a $10.32 purchase. Oops.

Did I mention that I had to pee? Since there was a handicapped sign on the main door to the bathroom, I was expecting a spacious restroom which would have no problem accommodating the stroller. I was wrong.

The bathroom was one of those three stall jobbers and since I could barely get my stroller in there, I have no idea how someone could get a wheelchair in the thing. Anyway, I pulled Cara out of the stroller, parked the thing out of the way (kind of) and took her into the stall with me. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to pee while holding a bundle of eight month old squirminess? Tons of fun.

By this point, all I want is somewhere to set the kid down so that she can go ape shit. I found this outdoor pavilion thing with six tanks of reptiles and shin height green metal benches. They were perfect Cara walking aids and I let her at them. Things were going great until this 30 something guy and 8 or 9 year old son walked up.

I gave the guy a polite smile and continued playing with Cara. Then the guy started hitting on me…in front of his son! I know I was by myself, but I had my wedding ring on and did I mention that our kids were there?! That was a very strange moment, my friends. Very strange indeed.

Anyway, I went looking for Hollyn and Jen and to get away from “scary Dad”. I found them coming out of the bathroom with both of their strollers. I swear it was like watching clowns coming out of a clown car. I guess you just had to be there…

We wandered around the museum which was actually a rebuilt 1880’s farm. They had the mules, goats, sheep, pigs and a cow. Cara loved the cow. I couldn’t get Cara out of her stroller fast enough.

Cara was climbing up me and laughing at the cow. She thought it was hilarious when the cow started smelling her leg and at one point Cara started beating the cow in the head. The cow just looked at Cara. I think the cow secretly liked it.

To make a long story not as long, we had a really good time. The zoo part of the place had different animals from Florida and their habitats were really natural looking. Actually, the whole thing reminded me of Jurassic Park. We were on a raised dock and were actually with the animals. The only thing separating us from the big ass bears and other critters was a really thin looking fence.

Tons of fun was had by all and once the good byes were said, Cara and I set off for home. And it rained. And it poured. And people were driving like jackasses. But, like I said, we had fun and Cara got to beat up a cow.

And any day that you get to beat up a cow is a good day.

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