Dear Blue Floral Shirt Lady in line at Starbucks around 2:30 today,
Thank you so much for allowing me to hear your entire phone conversation. Every time your phone would make that obnoxious “beep-beep” noise, I waited with bated breath for the next tidbit to spew forth. I am really glad that your phone has taken the speaker phone concept to the next level and works as a walkie-talkie. How novel!
I particularly enjoyed the story about your vaginal infection and how your “man wouldn’t come near [your] coochie with a ten foot pole”. The comment about your 15 year old sister being “a hoe and knocked up” was also great listening.
So, Blue Floral Shirt Lady, if you’re reading this, thanks again. I learned WAY more than I ever wanted to about you (and your coochie) today.
Really Grossed Out