We were in bed last night talking about how I have never been to a spa.
Perfectly innocent, right?
Somehow that innocent subject quickly devolved into Tucker talking about anal bleaching. You read that correctly. Anal bleaching. [Can you imagine the hits I’m going to have from Google from this one?]
The conversation went something like this:
Me: I’d really like to go just to get my eyebrows and legs waxed…maybe a massage.
Tucker: You know, they bleach stuff too.
Me: Why would I want to get something bleached?
Tucker: You could get your butt bleached.
Me: WHAT?! Why in the hell would I want to get my butt bleached?!!
Tucker: Well, some people do. It’s called anal bleaching.
Me: I know what it’s called! My point is why would I want to do that!
Tucker: You could get your nipples bleached too! OOO! I know! I’m going to make a product called Perox.
Me: What the fuck are you talking about?
Tucker: Women’s areolae get darker when they get pregnant. Imagine all of the women who would want their nipples to look like they did before they got pregnant.
Me: First off, NO! Secondly, Perox?
Tucker: You know. Peroxide and Clorox. But it sounds cooler.
Me: Are you high? Seriously. Why would someone want to bleach their nipples? You’ve lost your mind!
Tucker: Well people bleach their butts.
It was at that point that I rolled over and ignored him went to sleep.