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I Ain’t Got No Answers

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It has been one of those days.

Actually, it has been one of those weeks.

The very nice people who host my site are moving the servers. Apparently, moving said servers knocks this site off line. Very annoying.

I was checking my site-traffic earlier and was rather shocked that I had 10 people view my site today. It wasn’t a nice shock. Not “WOW, 10 people!” (read with elation). It was more along the lines of “What the FUCK?!”.

I stumbled on over here and guess what? My damn site was down. Again. Definitely didn’t help my mood.

I found out last night that I didn’t get a job that I had been going after. Once I started thinking about why it bothered me so much, I realized that this was one few times that I’ve ever been turned down for a job. This was one of those writing gigs where I could make some serious dough and it would be something that I could continue to do once we moved back to Arkansas.

I think that the other reason that I was so crushed by the resounding “NO” is that this is something that I really like doing…almost love…ok, love. I’ve been writing since I can remember and maybe I felt like a fucking looser since this is something that’s really near and dear to my heart. He (the potential boss) was very nice and said that I was “at or near the top of the list if a spot opens up”. I guess that made me feel a little bit better.

Yesterday, Cara and I visited my friend Alana and her son Cade. I was supposed to bring my walking shoes with me and I forgot them.

(Alana, if you’re reading this, I really did forget my shoes.)

It didn’t matter that I forgot the shoes though; Alana made me borrow a pair of hers. Bitch. We walked like two miles and my damn face nearly matched my red shirt perfectly.

Today, since the site was down, I tossed Cara into the car and actually went walking. I jogged once or twice too. Proud? I knew you would be. Keep your fingers crossed that I get my ass out there tomorrow.

I’m still in a horrible mood and I’m really not sure what to do about it. I knew last week that this was coming, but I just didn’t want to admit it. When things are going good, I don’t want to think about the fall. Ya know?

If there is a silver lining, I know that this shit mood isn’t going to last forever. Eventually, I’ll be back to where I was last week.

So, please bear with me while I trudge through this.

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