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We’re not really a vacation kind of family.

I’m sure well will be once Cara gets older, but up until around this time last year, it was just Tucker and me. Our lazy asses preferred to sit on the couch and save the cash that we would have spent on a trip.

All that being said, we did take a family “vacation” last Christmas; the grandparents were almost rabid with their desire to see Cara. [they could have cared less about seeing us]

And, I was dreading it.

I’ve never considered myself “abused”.

I always had a bed to sleep in, clothes on my back and food in my stomach.

I can count on one hand the number of times that I was spanked.

But, the more I thought about it, the more long forgotten memories came flooding back.

Hours spent alone in my bathroom as punishment for some small transgression. [I got smart and started hiding books in my bathroom cabinet]

Months of hardcore grounding [ie, no tv, no phone, no reading, no visits with friends] for things that actually only deserved a couple of weeks of punishment.

I got this email yesterday and I just had to pass it on.

There is some major breastfeeding drama afoot.

Applebee’s stepped in it here and the incident has spawned video reactions, blog entries and general bad press.

Then, Facebook banned a picture of a mother breastfeeding because it was “obscene“. That action has also caused an uproar and even the creation of a website calling for people to delete their Facebook accounts.

Way to go Applebee’s and Facebook. You have just officially pissed off a group of women who are bat shit crazy. We boob women go from serenely nursing our children to organized in about two seconds when someone does something like these two companies did.

I’m going to have to bust out my Ferber book.

Cara was up at least three times last night; it might have been more, but I quite counting after three.

Once is fine; I have to feed Biscuit around 4am.

But, for the past couple of nights, Cara has been waking numerous times and refusing to go back to sleep without nursing first.

Not cool, Cara. Not cool.

Now of course it seems like every animal that we own is hell bent on getting in my way and Cara has taken to standing at the baby-gate and screaming at me.

Diapers are apparently very bad things around our house.

I make this statement based on the fact that I spent the entire weekend watching my child remove her diaper at every available opportunity.

The days of her running around the apartment in her diaper are over. Now, even when Cara is wearing clothes, she tries to dig under whatever she’s wearing so that she can pull at the diaper tabs.

So far, we haven’t had any “accidents”. But, I know it’s just a matter of time.

Motherhood Uncensored was brave enough to post her “squalor” and I figured that I would do the same.

I’m not shy; sometimes the cleaning just don’t get done.

In my defense, we did have people over last night for pizza and beer. [I had rum and coke]

Unlike, Motherhood Uncensored, I didn’t clean it up…I’ll add that to my list for today.

I just received an email with a funny [and very true] list of breastfeeding “terms” with definitions; I had to share them here.

The Boob Lift – The unconscious lifting of your breasts to check which is fuller. It may be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you’re talking to.

The Nursing Flip – The action of adjusting you and your baby to make ready for nursing. This means moving your T-shirt off your butt, doing the “boob lift”, putting the baby in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds with no attention taken away from your previous task.

Guess what I found last night?

A kitten. A tiny little black kitten who’s eyes aren’t open yet.

I was outside last night around 5pm smoking a cigarette and I heard this tiny little kittie mew.

I looked around and didn’t see a kitten and thought nothing more about it. [Our apartment complex is overrun with feral cats]

Well, right before we went to bed last night, I was back out on our porch and heard the kitten again.

The thing was obviously in big time distress so I set out looking for him.

For some reason, “Capt. Coleman” finds me very trustworthy.

He’s willing to smuggle money out of Iraq to me if I’ll provide him with my bank and contact information.

You also have to love that “for security reasons” I’m supposed to reply to a different Hotmail [ ie unsecured] address.

So, without further ado, here’s another email from my Spam Vault.

Enjoy.

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your mail and for accepting my offer. I apologize for my late reply, it’s due to my duty here. Since your last email to me on the month of JUNE, I couldn’t reply back because my troops were camping at the road to the jordanian border, that makes it difficult for me to check my mail.