Freudian Slip

Filed Under: Life

I was at Starbuck’s yesterday getting my Pumpkin Spice Latte with no whip and no sprinkles. [OH SO TASTY!]

For some reason I had cash and paid the chick with a ten. She handed me back the change in all ones. Not a big deal. Having a wad of ones makes me feel like I have more money than I really do. [I’m a dork. I embrace this fact]

Of course, she handed me the ones going in every direction known to man. That bugs the shit out of me. All of the bills should be turned in the same direction. Bills laid out all willy-nilly are the stepping stones to anarchy. What’s next? Martial Law?!

The baristas were taking a very long time and as I sat there waiting, I rearranged my wayward bills.

The coffee chick finally brought my coffee to the window [I was doing drive-thru] and noticed me obsessively straightening my dollar bills.

“I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t realize that they were messed up.” She looked genuinely upset that I was fixing my money.

By this point, Cara was getting restless about sitting still for so long and had begun to fuss in the backseat. I started getting a bit flustered from Caroline fussing, me having to stuff the money into my wallet, the coffee chick being on the verge of tears and my coffee sitting precariously close to the edge of the little drive-thru platform.

“Oh don’t worry about it.” I reassured her. “I just do anal like that.”

It was out before I even realized that I had said it. I clapped my hand over my mouth and the coffee girl gave me the most horrified look I think I’ve ever gotten.

“NO, NO, NO!!! I mean, I’m anal like that! I don’t DO anal!”

It was a hopeless situation; there was no way to fix it. Fuck!

I grabbed my coffee and put the pedal to the metal.

I’m considering the idea of frequenting a new Starbuck’s from now on.

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