40 Dollar Goose

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What’s wrong with me today, guys?

I have been nothing but an evil bitch all day.

I’m sure part of it is due to the horrible traffic and the fact that the weather won’t decide what it’s doing; one day it’s 80 and the next it’s in the 40s. Is it too much to ask for a month of similar weather?!

One thing that I hate about Christmas is the shopping.

People have hate in their eyes and they’re determined to get the last of everything. It’s almost like I can see their thoughts in fluffy cartoon thought bubbles. “I may only need two cans of green beans. BUT, I can’t let that other person get my green beans! Must have them all! [insert maniacal laughter here]

That whole attitude of one-upness right now is driving me batty. I just want to look those people in the eyes and say “Happy Holidays” and give them a saccharinely sweet smile. It won’t happen since I’m a wuss…and I don’t want to get punched in the face.

The worst part of it all is that I noticed it rubbing off on me. That aggressive “I must have that parking space” thing swept over me like a bad hot flash and I couldn’t shake it.

And why do geese have to cost $40?! Seriously! $40?!

I had seen this stupid goose in the freezer last week and got a wild feather hair up my ass that I was going to roast a goose for Christmas. I’ve never had goose. I’ve never cooked a goose. I just decided that was what I was going to do.

Today was the big goose buying day. We had saved the goose for last since it was frozen. I still had to get diapers, so I had Tucker grab the bird. When he came walking down the baby isle, I noticed that instead of my goose, he had a turkey. Tucker felt that $40 was a bit much to pay on an experiment. Honestly, I hadn’t even looked at the price tag. Apparently the goose was an all organic, free-range grain free goose.

That’s all well and good, but $40?! OK. I’m done. I promise.

Off to bathe “small and loud” and then watch some movies. We rented I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, the new Pirates of the Caribbean and the first four episodes of Season 1 of Dexter.

I hope they don’t suck.

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