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Filed Under: Food and Drink, Life

I have been relatively sane for a while now.

I attribute this temporary sanity to the fact that I’m pregnant and pregnancy seems to agree with my brain.

Sure, I’ve been a tad more angry than I normally would be but it’s not like I’m constantly pissed off [just on Fridays from now on].

But the crazy train pulled into the station today.

For the past few days I’ve been angrier than normal and extra-emotional.  Then, this morning at the ass crack of dawn, our new next door neighbors woke Cara up with their alcohol assisted noise.  It was 3am, they were outside and I could hear every word of their conversation via Cara’s baby monitor.  She heard them too and was up from 3am till sometime around 5am.

Needless to say, [but I’ll still say it] not much sleep was had here.

Cara and I played hooky from church due to the fact that we resembled zombies and my fundus tends to hurt like a sonofabitch if I sit in one place for more than fifteen minutes.

Also, I don’t go for me; I go for Tucker and he didn’t want me to be miserable.

After church, Cara and I met Tucker and his folks at Cracker Barrel.  I had suggested Cracker Barrel earlier that morning to Tucker because they have blueberry pancakes and Cara is just a tad bit obsessed with all things blueberry – she even has blueberry shampoo.

While we waited on the food, Cara played with Tucker’s dad and was generally content to drink out of the 1/2 and 1/2 cups and put her colors back in their box.

Once our food came, I cut up Cara’s sausage and Tucker passed the plate over to Tucker’s dad.

This bothered me for a number of reasons.

It’s not Tucker’s dad’s responsibility to feed our child and since Cara doesn’t use a highchair or booster seat, I didn’t want to inconvenience my father-in-law.

Another thing that bothered me was the fact that Cara kept getting her sausage fat covered hands percariously close to Tucker’s dad’s white dress shirt.  A sausage fat stain on our clothes is one thing but it’s not something that I want my kid sharing with other people.

Also, I got the blueberry pancakes for “small and loud” and I wasn’t about to cut up some mess-ass white shirt staining pancakes and send them over for Cara to smear and mush.

I asked Tucker to hand Cara to me so that I could feed her.  But, as Tucker later pointed out, I didn’t do a very good job of explaining the things I just explained here.

I guess all everyone else could see was Cara sitting quietly on her grandpa’s lap, eating her sausage and me trying to fuck up the quiet by moving her.

All I could see was the inevitable purple smear that was fated to appear on that stark white shirt.

I tried a couple of times to reiterate why it was of the utmost importance that I feed Cara but all I really remember about that minute or so was an amazing amount of pent-up pressure and the only release was her sitting on my lap eating those fucking pancakes.

Tucker assures me that I looked pretty crazy and jittery around this time and I can only hope that the only people who noticed were the people seated at our table.

In the end, the little shit at MAYBE two bites of the undercooked pancakes and I got a bite containing egg shell.

All in all, it was a thoroughly shitty experience for everyone involved with the exception of Cara since she was blissfully unaware that her mother lost her shit over some pancakes.


  1. Some days are like that when you’re pregnant. You had a legitimate concern, you were just unable to communicate it effectively. It’s great preparation for when you’ll be a blithering idiot in the early infancy days.

    Earth Muffins last blog post..And the award for maternal stupidity goes to…

  2. Hey, I act like that all the time, so, no biggie.

    Hm. I’m actually not sure if you will take thas as a compliment or insult. 😛

    Sarcastic Moms last blog post..You can tell I’m on my period when I talk about “the indicent.”

  3. Ahhh, you and I. Crazy is awesome. I could so see me doing that.

    Marias last blog post..Cheat or be cheated on?

  4. Pregnancy hormones do make for crazy times.

    BTW, I have a recipe for blueberry pancake topping that beats Cracker Barrel hands down. Let me know if you want it.

    Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..A New Earth? That’s Good Since The Old Earth Is Insane.

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