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C-Section Scheduled

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When I can’t check in for my doctor’s appointment without staring at your tits, your shirt is NOT WORK APPROPRIATE.

Just had to get that out there.

There is this woman at the front desk of my OB’s office who apparently doesn’t know the meaning of work appropriate clothing.

Last week, she had on a “party shirt” like what I used to wear in college.  Her very perky boobs were right under her chin and the neckline was ridiculously low.  I could literally see half of her boobs.

I assumed that she was one of the doctors’ wives and chocked it up to her “helping” at the office.  That’s cool…just cover those things up!

This week she had a shirt on over her cami but the over shirt was unbuttoned and half hanging off of her shoulder…and her bra was showing.  I don’t mean her bra strap.  [Who hasn’t had that happen to them?]  I’m talking about her entire CUP showing.

We walked into the office.  I walked up to the counter.  I saw her left D cup and couldn’t quit looking at it while I gave my doc’s name and my appointment time.

It’s like the things had a tractor beam and they were sucking my eyes in!

Wow…I talked about her boobs for a long time.  It’s not my fault!  They have special powers!

Since I know you love reading about the state of my cervix I figured I’d give you an update.

I’m sitting at 2cm right now.  I’m not at my “due date” yet so I’m not too worried.  My OB brought up the fact that we had discussed scheduling a c-section for some arbitrary date in the future.

OB – “Have you thought anything about a particular day?”

Me – “September 26th.  It’s a Friday and I’ll be 42wks and 1day.”

[Insert dumbfounded doctor here.]

OB – “Um…well…let me go make sure that I’M available on that day.  Get dressed and I’ll be right back.”

After about ten minutes, my OB came back and informed me that the 26th is a GREAT[!!] day for him since he’s on call and scheduled for surgeries that day.  SO, if I don’t crap this kid out by the 26th then I’ll be having him at noon on said day.

[Even though my OB says “GREAT!!!” way too much, I really loved him today since he didn’t try to talk me into an early section.  My doctor RAWKS my socks right now.]

I have to add here though that I almost had a panic attack scheduling that stupid ass surgery.  I can’t put my finger on it but for some reason it makes me feel like an absolute and total failure.  Just the thought that I won’t go into spontaneous labor and that I’ll have to have a section makes me rather annoyed and depressed.

Tucker and I talked about it for a while and I know intellectually that if this child hasn’t been born by 42wks and 1 day then he needs to be born very soon regardless of his method of birth.  I know this…really I do.

I also know that all that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mother.  I know.  I know!

But, I can’t help remembering The Business of Being Born at the very end when the director, Abby Epstein, says [paraphrasing since I can’t find the quote] that she felt like she had been hit by a car and when she woke up, someone handed her a baby.  I bawled my eyes out when she said that.

Something was missing for me when I had my c-section.  Something that I can’t put my finger on and I can’t wrap my head around.  If you think I’m crazy for being “stuck” on this VBAC thing, you’re not alone.  Sometimes I think I’m a bit nutty too.  [Hell…look at my site’s name.]  But, I’m still holding out hope that I’ll get my VBAC.  I’m still holding out hope that Oliver will come before the 26th at noon and that I’ll get the birth that I missed with Cara.

I’m holding out for an ideal that I hope is at least partially attainable.

Comments

  1. Crossing my fingers you get the delivery you want.

    Jesss last blog post..Always Looking for a Little More Information

  2. I hope you get your VBAC. I was stressing hard about mine as I reached the 40 week mark, but Mayhem turned up at 40w 1d. A friend of mine just had her 2nd VBAC at 41w3d.

    Staceys last blog post..All by myself

  3. Oh mama, I had the EXACT same experience with my daughters birth. I waited until 42 weeks and 2 days to finally agree to being induced. Even though I *knew* it upped my chances of having a C-Section. Even though I knew it upped my chances of medical interventions in general.

    I fought my OB tooth and nail. He would have scheduled a C-Section at 38-40 weeks b/c he was sure I’d have a giant baby, and b/c I was 39 years old, and b/c frankly he isn’t a HUGE advocate of going past due dates or natural unassisted births, etc.

    Uh, hello? Remember the 60’s dude? Babies were birthed vaginally all the time at 42+ weeks. Babies were birthed vaginally even when they were breech (as was my brother, a Frank Breech in 1968). Moms smoked, drank & did all sorts of things back then. We survived. What is it in the last 20 years that Obstetricians think we don’t know what we’re doing? Why do women want to be DRUGGED during the births of their babies? Why do celebrities need to schedule C-sections in their 8 month to avoid stretch marks?

    Sigh.

    I’m still sad, mad, disappointed, etc. over not being able to have the natural childbirth of my dreams. I’m adopted (like you), I wanted this blood child of mine to crawl on her own to my breast, to have it just be me & her against the world. Hell, I’d have had her at home, with a midwife if Medi-Cal would’ve paid for it. I read every book on midwifery I could find, on Natural Childbirth, unassisted birth, on drug-free, intervention-free, birthing of babies… I was READY. I knew my body could DO THIS. I had a Doula. I was surrounded by my women friends. I told the nurses to take their epidurals & pain meds to the gal next door who was screaming her fool head off like some dumb character on ER b/c clearly she needed meds.

    I was PREPARED.

    But labor/delivery is a funny thing. It has a way of going it’s own direction, despite your best laid plans, or hopes, or desires.

    In the end, after 15 hours of drug free labor, they cut me open, pulled my guts and 11 pound, 6 oz, 23.5″ baby out of my body, took her away from me and I didn’t get to hold her for FOUR frackin’ days b/c she ended up in NICU for some made up bullshit reason. And no, I’m not sure I’ll ever get over that they did that without my consent, that they fed her with a bottle when they KNEW I wanted to breastfeed, that the nurses were allowed to hold her, but I wasn’t, and so on.

    Yeah, of course a healthy baby is what you want. And yeah, a healthy mama is what you want too. But damnit don’t you just get sick to death of people telling you that? Are we really SO child centric now that birthing babies has become a medical event, instead of the natural wonderful Mamalicious event is SHOULD be?

    You have the RIGHT to want the birthing experience of your dreams. And honey pie, I hope you get it!!

    Loves and hugs,

    Cher ~

    Cheryls last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Sept 3 2008

  4. My baby was breech, so my doc scheduled me for a C-Section. I was crushed. I felt like a little piece of my dream died. Not to mention the fact that I knew that I would have a pretty hard time finding a doc that did VBACs for my next one (I was in Arkansas at the time…not to many willing to risk malpractice for their patients).

    I’m in Michigan now, and I will definitely be looking for a doc that will be open to a possible VBAC for my next one. I know I will probably have a section, but I would like to have the option to have a VBAC if I want to.

  5. Give it a week and then have a hot curry about an hour before heading to bed. I was really hacked off two weeks before my due date, I was hot, tired and I cut easily have bitten someone’s head off and just wanted it over and done with. It worked, I went into labour six hours later and so far it’s worked for four of my friends as well.

    It’s probably an old wives tale was just a coincidence but there’s no harm in trying I always say.

    And your OB’s receptionist sounds like she may not be his wife, but she would like to be:)

    Leannes last blog post..WFMW – The Need to Read

  6. I was induced with my first son and was very worried with my second that I wouldn’t go into labor on my own. But I did! And it was such an amazing experience. So much better than the first. I am hoping and wishing the same for you!

    fruitladys last blog post..Today’s Wordle

  7. I swear people have got to stop sharing that business of being born movie with each other and the ‘sphere. It’s informative, but SO TRAUMATIC. I mean, unless you give birth the ONE RIGHT WAY you’re f’ing yourself and your kid up at the hands of the evil doctors.

    Yeah I wanted a natural water birth. What I got was a hospital, pitocin induced natural birth a week before my due date because I’m fat and ultrasound machines like to add a pound or two onto my kids’ actual weight.

    While I do think that movie makes about ten minutes work of solid, valid points, I think it does FAR MORE emotional harm than good for real women (not dirty hippies in crappy fifteen year old cars midwifing for the PASSION and JOY of it) – don’t get me wrong, I want to be a dirty hippie that reeks of sandalwood (I can’t deal with Patchouli, man, ugh) and leaves my hair down and spreads organic peanut butter on my kids so we can howl at the moon on pagan holidays.

    But that is just not a lifestyle I can rock. I’m as bohemian as I get.

    And remember, if you have a c-section, you don’t have to worry about a torn perennium. Bonus points for no hoo-hoo stitches. W00t!

    jennydeckis last blog post..On Writing and Procrastination

  8. I felt robbed the first time….. it’s only natural.

    The second & third time were easier — I just focused on having a healthy baby and the method mattered a lot less because I knew more about what to expect…. and I accepted that it was out of my hands

    good luck

  9. I’m guessing that you’ve had your precious one. How was the outcome? Did you have that VBAC?

  10. I actually ended up with a c-section after I stalled at nine cm.

    Talk about a kick in the ass, right?

    Oliver was 9lbs 1oz and 21.5″ long and I’m only 5’2″ with rather small hips. The chances of me being able to deliver a baby that size are slim to none.

    Thanks for asking. 🙂

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