C-Section Scheduled

Filed Under: Life

When I can’t check in for my doctor’s appointment without staring at your tits, your shirt is NOT WORK APPROPRIATE.

Just had to get that out there.

There is this woman at the front desk of my OB’s office who apparently doesn’t know the meaning of work appropriate clothing.

Last week, she had on a “party shirt” like what I used to wear in college.  Her very perky boobs were right under her chin and the neckline was ridiculously low.  I could literally see half of her boobs.

I assumed that she was one of the doctors’ wives and chocked it up to her “helping” at the office.  That’s cool…just cover those things up!

This week she had a shirt on over her cami but the over shirt was unbuttoned and half hanging off of her shoulder…and her bra was showing.  I don’t mean her bra strap.  [Who hasn’t had that happen to them?]  I’m talking about her entire CUP showing.

We walked into the office.  I walked up to the counter.  I saw her left D cup and couldn’t quit looking at it while I gave my doc’s name and my appointment time.

It’s like the things had a tractor beam and they were sucking my eyes in!

Wow…I talked about her boobs for a long time.  It’s not my fault!  They have special powers!

Since I know you love reading about the state of my cervix I figured I’d give you an update.

I’m sitting at 2cm right now.  I’m not at my “due date” yet so I’m not too worried.  My OB brought up the fact that we had discussed scheduling a c-section for some arbitrary date in the future.

OB – “Have you thought anything about a particular day?”

Me – “September 26th.  It’s a Friday and I’ll be 42wks and 1day.”

[Insert dumbfounded doctor here.]

OB – “Um…well…let me go make sure that I’M available on that day.  Get dressed and I’ll be right back.”

After about ten minutes, my OB came back and informed me that the 26th is a GREAT[!!] day for him since he’s on call and scheduled for surgeries that day.  SO, if I don’t crap this kid out by the 26th then I’ll be having him at noon on said day.

[Even though my OB says “GREAT!!!” way too much, I really loved him today since he didn’t try to talk me into an early section.  My doctor RAWKS my socks right now.]

I have to add here though that I almost had a panic attack scheduling that stupid ass surgery.  I can’t put my finger on it but for some reason it makes me feel like an absolute and total failure.  Just the thought that I won’t go into spontaneous labor and that I’ll have to have a section makes me rather annoyed and depressed.

Tucker and I talked about it for a while and I know intellectually that if this child hasn’t been born by 42wks and 1 day then he needs to be born very soon regardless of his method of birth.  I know this…really I do.

I also know that all that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mother.  I know.  I know!

But, I can’t help remembering The Business of Being Born at the very end when the director, Abby Epstein, says [paraphrasing since I can’t find the quote] that she felt like she had been hit by a car and when she woke up, someone handed her a baby.  I bawled my eyes out when she said that.

Something was missing for me when I had my c-section.  Something that I can’t put my finger on and I can’t wrap my head around.  If you think I’m crazy for being “stuck” on this VBAC thing, you’re not alone.  Sometimes I think I’m a bit nutty too.  [Hell…look at my site’s name.]  But, I’m still holding out hope that I’ll get my VBAC.  I’m still holding out hope that Oliver will come before the 26th at noon and that I’ll get the birth that I missed with Cara.

I’m holding out for an ideal that I hope is at least partially attainable.