Talk about a kick in the ass, right?

Oliver was 9lbs 1oz and 21.5″ long and I’m only 5′2″ with rather small hips. The chances of me being able to deliver a baby that size are slim to none.

Thanks for asking.

The second & third time were easier — I just focused on having a healthy baby and the method mattered a lot less because I knew more about what to expect…. and I accepted that it was out of my hands

good luck

Yeah I wanted a natural water birth. What I got was a hospital, pitocin induced natural birth a week before my due date because I’m fat and ultrasound machines like to add a pound or two onto my kids’ actual weight.

While I do think that movie makes about ten minutes work of solid, valid points, I think it does FAR MORE emotional harm than good for real women (not dirty hippies in crappy fifteen year old cars midwifing for the PASSION and JOY of it) – don’t get me wrong, I want to be a dirty hippie that reeks of sandalwood (I can’t deal with Patchouli, man, ugh) and leaves my hair down and spreads organic peanut butter on my kids so we can howl at the moon on pagan holidays.

But that is just not a lifestyle I can rock. I’m as bohemian as I get.

And remember, if you have a c-section, you don’t have to worry about a torn perennium. Bonus points for no hoo-hoo stitches. W00t!

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It’s probably an old wives tale was just a coincidence but there’s no harm in trying I always say.

And your OB’s receptionist sounds like she may not be his wife, but she would like to be

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I’m in Michigan now, and I will definitely be looking for a doc that will be open to a possible VBAC for my next one. I know I will probably have a section, but I would like to have the option to have a VBAC if I want to.

I fought my OB tooth and nail. He would have scheduled a C-Section at 38-40 weeks b/c he was sure I’d have a giant baby, and b/c I was 39 years old, and b/c frankly he isn’t a HUGE advocate of going past due dates or natural unassisted births, etc.

Uh, hello? Remember the 60’s dude? Babies were birthed vaginally all the time at 42+ weeks. Babies were birthed vaginally even when they were breech (as was my brother, a Frank Breech in 1968). Moms smoked, drank & did all sorts of things back then. We survived. What is it in the last 20 years that Obstetricians think we don’t know what we’re doing? Why do women want to be DRUGGED during the births of their babies? Why do celebrities need to schedule C-sections in their 8 month to avoid stretch marks?

Sigh.

I’m still sad, mad, disappointed, etc. over not being able to have the natural childbirth of my dreams. I’m adopted (like you), I wanted this blood child of mine to crawl on her own to my breast, to have it just be me & her against the world. Hell, I’d have had her at home, with a midwife if Medi-Cal would’ve paid for it. I read every book on midwifery I could find, on Natural Childbirth, unassisted birth, on drug-free, intervention-free, birthing of babies… I was READY. I knew my body could DO THIS. I had a Doula. I was surrounded by my women friends. I told the nurses to take their epidurals & pain meds to the gal next door who was screaming her fool head off like some dumb character on ER b/c clearly she needed meds.

I was PREPARED.

But labor/delivery is a funny thing. It has a way of going it’s own direction, despite your best laid plans, or hopes, or desires.

In the end, after 15 hours of drug free labor, they cut me open, pulled my guts and 11 pound, 6 oz, 23.5″ baby out of my body, took her away from me and I didn’t get to hold her for FOUR frackin’ days b/c she ended up in NICU for some made up bullshit reason. And no, I’m not sure I’ll ever get over that they did that without my consent, that they fed her with a bottle when they KNEW I wanted to breastfeed, that the nurses were allowed to hold her, but I wasn’t, and so on.

Yeah, of course a healthy baby is what you want. And yeah, a healthy mama is what you want too. But damnit don’t you just get sick to death of people telling you that? Are we really SO child centric now that birthing babies has become a medical event, instead of the natural wonderful Mamalicious event is SHOULD be?

You have the RIGHT to want the birthing experience of your dreams. And honey pie, I hope you get it!!

Loves and hugs,

Cher ~

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