The Structural Integrity of Jell-O

Filed Under: Life

That slapping sound you hear? Yeah, that would be my boobs. Apparently I need a sports bra. This regular bra just ain’t cutting it.

Tonight was my first episode of the 30 Day Shred and my FINGERS are shaking a little bit while I type this. It’s not that I exercised my fingers, but my arms got a hell of a workout. And my legs, and my abs, and my arms. Did I mention my arms?!

I’m supposed to use weights but since my arms probably weigh more than most people’s heads, I nixed the weight thing for the time being. We’re going to Target tomorrow to get me a proper sports bra so maybe I’ll pick up some one pound weights while we’re there. Or maybe I’ll just walk down the aisle and flip the weights off. That sounds like a really good plan right now.

Tucker did the workout with me and I was glad to see that my Navy husband, who is all about fitness, didn’t have an easy time of the damn DVD either. Things were made a bit more tough on him since Sophie took to bouncing up and down in front of Tucker when he’d do jumping jacks.

Before we started the DVD, Tucker and I stretched and I was shocked to see how much flexibility I’ve lost. Even though I’ve always been fat, I’ve always been very flexible and have ALWAYS been able to do the splits both ways and do back bends. I should have known something was up based on how my last attempt at a backbend went.

The pushups KILLED me. Even though I was doing the modified push-ups, I still had to stop because my arms just weren’t having it. Also, who the hell knew that wrists sweat! What is that shit about?!

Twenty something minutes have never felt so long and half way through I found myself telling Jillian to “shut the fuck up already!” and to just get it over with. I also decided around that time that I didn’t want to do this again tomorrow. But, by the time it was over, I found that I could see myself going through that hell again.

One thing that’s helped me stay motivated is the fact that Jillian what’shername is 5’3″. I’m 5’2″. I apparently am not “big boned” but actually have a small bone structure and am muscular. [I promise I have muscle somewhere under that fat.] It’s not out of the realm of possibility that I could be “small”. Not Jillina what’shername small, but MUCH smaller than I am now. I kept glaring staring at the bouncing bitches on the screen and telling myself that I could be almost that small some day. Maybe. If I don’t quit this insanity like I’ve quit everything before.

What’s really funny is that even though I was dripping sweat and my face was the color of a bright red beet, I felt pretty fucking good. I sat down on the couch to write this and then I HAD to pee. I got up and almost fell to the floor. My legs that had been somewhat tired before, now had the consistency and structural integrity of Jell-O.

Tomorrow will be a pain-filled day but I gotta stick with it. This whole not following through thing is getting a bit old.


  1. good luck-I am here to cheer you on. But alas, no push ups for me. It is still wii fit step program that will keep me somewhere near where I want to be.

  2. I hear ya. That’s how I felt after day 1. When you have to hold onto towel bars and cabinets just to lower yourself onto the toilet, well, you know you really worked your muscles.

  3. I am *so* with you on the arms thing. And I quit at the pushups point last night. *sigh* But that was my final bailout, heh. I’m going to push through it, even if I have to do the No-No kind of pushups until my upper body gets stronger.

    CheekySweeties last blog post..I’m one of the 28 day #shredheads

  4. You are awesome. I could never – NEVER – do a backbend.

    mothergoosemouses last blog post..Shredding my shame

  5. Bwah, ha,ha. I used to RAWK the backbends but not any longer. Maybe one day. 😎

  6. I’ve been thinking about getting this DVD. I may have to try it out now!!

    Christys last blog post..51/365: Deleted


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