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Woe is Me

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I don’t like asking for money. I don’t like taking money. Basically, I don’t like feeling indebted to someone. If the money is a gift or if it’s in payment for a service then I’m alright with that.

What brought all of this up was an email that I got while I was napping in Cara’s bed. Actually, I was asleep in Cara’s bed when the email came in and then I read the email once I woke up. Is that clear now?

I was informed that a Saturday ticket for BlogHer had become available and the person wanted to know if I wanted to buy it. Um…yeah. I was told that the Saturday pass was $152.73 and was given until tomorrow to come up with the money.

Well shit.

Tucker still doesn’t have a damn job, I don’t get paid until the 15th [I get paid monthly] and the cash that we have has to go to stuff like groceries, gas, rent…you know…the annoying little details in life.

As a last ditch effort, I called someone [who has asked that I don’t name them on here] and asked her if I could borrow the cash until the 15th at which point I would pay her back in full.

Her response: Well, I’ve loaned you money in the past and you haven’t paid me back. I’m trusting you this time…

What sucked the largest dick was that I had to eat my pride and tell her that of course I would pay her back.

I started making dinner and Tucker and I had a good ole talk since I hadn’t asked him about me calling the person and getting their credit card number. The more I talked to Tucker about the call, the angrier I got.

Tucker and I have been married for almost five years and in that time I have never borrowed money from anyone. The last time I can remember there even being a chance that I would have borrowed cash from this person it would have been back during college or maybe even high school; I’ve been out of high school for almost ten years.

I finally called the person and let them know [via voice mail] that we needed to talk about this since I didn’t remember borrowing money from them-much less not paying them back. I wanted to say, “Who brings shit up that’s over five years old just to shame someone and make them feel like even bigger assbags for borrowing money.” But, of course I didn’t think of that until after I had hung up the phone.

I deleted the credit card number and all of the information since homey don’t play those games and even though I have until tomorrow to give the official yes or no on the ticket, I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not going to be able to swing it.

I’m hoping beyond hope that someone will offer me another ticket in the very near future and we’ll have the cash for me to get it.

Then again, maybe BlogHer just isn’t in the cards for me this year. Arg!

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