Hormones and the New “Mommy War”

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Anger BotWhen I was pregnant with Cara, I cried…a lot. Then, I got pregnant with Oliver and I was probably the angriest that I’ve ever been in my entire life. Anything and everything would set me off and though I knew that most things weren’t as big of a deal as my emotions were making them out to be, I was knocked-up and angry and basically didn’t care.

I’m experiencing that kind of anger today.

It started this morning and I blamed it on not having very much sleep and lack of coffee. After the coffee, I decided that maybe it was the annoying cartoons. Since the cartoons were something that Cara watches on a daily basis [and normally don’t bother me] I then blamed my bitchiness on Ollie’s desire to bite anything that gets within teeth distance of him.

Then, I decided that it was the looks that Tucker was giving me. Rat bastard wouldn’t quit cutting his eyes at me like he thought I was going to bust a cap in someone’s ass. Next, I started trying to remember what my moods have been like recently thinking that maybe I’m entering into a “manic” phase.

Basically, I’ve spent the entire day trying to figure out what the hell has crawled up my ass and died. THEN, I read Sam’s post, and this just wasn’t the day for me to read that. Normally I consider Sam my Canadian twin-we both have pitbulls, we both have smart mouths and like to talk about boobs, we both have two kids, etcetera ad nauseum.

But today, when I read her post about how moms who work outside of the home work so much harder than moms who work from home, well, like I said, today wasn’t the day for me to read that.

I TOTALLY understand where Sam is coming from with her post and she has points that I agree with wholeheartedly. But, I also know that I’m contractually required to write over 70 posts a month with EveryJoe.com and if I don’t live up to my contractual obligations then my boss chews my ass. Actually, my boss is really cool but her boss will chew my boss’s ass and then my boss has to email me and ask me why the hell I’m being a slacker. Keep in mine that I have a nine month old and two year old at home who latch onto me like blood sucking leeches at times [usually while I’m trying to write] and that since I work from home, Tucker expects me to keep the house somewhat clean and ensure that we don’t have strange stuff growing in the toilet.

Don’t TELL me that I don’t work as hard as you.

I get NO breaks from the kids and I’m fine with that. Clarification: when Tucker gets home from work, he [angel!] gives me some time to myself but that’s in ten minute bits. But it’s not like I have a place that I go for eight hours out of the day where I can work, meet my deadlines and then come home and worry about house work and what the hell I’m supposed to russle up for dinner.

Some [and I don’t have links since I closed those tabs about five hours ago] are saying that this is the new mommy war. And you know, THAT pisses me off more than Sam’s post did. Clarification #2: I’m not pissed any longer since I know that Sam has 100% valid points and my pissoffedness was just the hormones talking.

Mommy wars? Aren’t we done with this already? I can’t help but wonder if the “mommy wars” bullshit isn’t a way to drudge up site traffic and blow something as simple as a lifestyle choice completely out of proportion. You do what you have to do for yourself and your family inorder to survive. As long as you’re kids are fed, clothed [that’s a loose term around here since Ollie sometimes just wears a diaper] and aren’t beaten then you’re doing something right.

The only reason that a “mommy war” even exists is because some people aren’t secure in what they’re doing so they need to go and bash someone else so that they’ll feel better. Clarification #3: I’m NOT aiming that at Sam.

Stop it already, people!

Why do you care what another mother is doing? Does it have a direct impact on you or your family? Is what a mom feeds her kid REALLY going to hurt/maim/dismember you and/or any of your loved ones?

I don’t think so. Live and let live folks. Life is too fucking short to quibble over stuff like this.


I think I’ve decided that I’m about to start my period. Glad I can finally blame these damn rages on something other than the chick next door who lets her kid where Crocs. *shudders*



  1. Dude. I love you.

    For clarification though, I didn’t say that you don’t work as hard as a mom outside the home. I know you do because I do the WAHM gig simultaneously with my WOHM gig. I know it’s hard. I know it sucks when the kids are all over you while you have that last paragraph to pump out but can’t because you can’t even think when they are clawing at you and screeching in your ear. I. get. that.

    It’s a completely different lifestyle working outside the home. The stresses are different and even the guilt is different. I know that only because I am living parallel lives as a WAHM and a WOHM.

    Momversation completely neglected to even have one person on the panel of ‘working moms’ who leave their children everyday, missing out them growing up. They didn’t even touch on those sacrifices that a WOHM makes which are not the same as a WAHM. Kinda makes me feel like it’s all for not when even other MOMS can’t appreciate them, yanno?

    Please don’t think that I think you don’t work hard. I KNOW you work hard because I also pull the all-nighters while I care for a sick child and try to satisfy needs of a client.

    I also have a boss outside of the home that expects 110%. To me, it’s NOT the same and I would never have said ANYTHING had I not experienced it, and that’s why I would NEVER EVER say anything about a SAHM since it’s not something I’ve done or feel I could do.

    Because really!? Who in their right mind can play trucks for 5 hours a day and not smash their head off the wall (says Maggie Mason, NOT me.)…

    Still friends?! xoxo
    .-= ´s last blog ..Hey Momversation: Let’s Talk About REAL Working Moms For a Second =-.

  2. I’ve done the WAHM, and I’ve done the WOHM, and now I do the part time WOHM.

    For me, and this is just MY experience, the WAHM was by far harder than the WOHM.

    I’m thankful I get to go to work three days a week. I would officially reach insanity levels if I was home with my boys all day every day. Just being honest.

    And I completely agree with you on the mommy wars bit. It really is a lack of security thing. Great post, even with the hormones! Which I completely relate to.
    .-= ´s last blog ..When Eden Fantasys, the toddler’s sock drawer, and the babysitter collide. =-.

  3. there is always a war raging between the two camps. i personally don’t care which one feels more just than the other. I find that “we” as women, really don’t try to get each other or support each other and feel like I get more support from men than women.

    Right now, I’m dealing with the death of a child. Something that both camps wouldn’t want to deal with working or staying at home. And let me tell you, I understand you! i want to rip the heads off my other two kids every single day. and I stay at home but since I don’t leave the house, I’m not considered a real person who’s life is just as difficult as the people that leave their house to go to a “real” work.

    p.s. i’m awaiting my period to start any minute.:)
    .-= ´s last blog ..the waiting is the hardest part =-.

    • I don’t leave the house either and STILL have issues getting all of my work done. You’d think since I have it so easy that I’d get something done. heh

  4. I had this big comment, and then it was lost! Anyway, to sum it up, I don’t even think about the “mommy wars” until some completely ridiculous whiny mom starts complaining about how hard she has it – take our baseball team mom, for example. With 1 self-sufficient child, and a job outside the home, she could not find the time to call and reserve a spot for our team party or order trophies online because “she was just so tired!” When I (working from home with 3 kids) could have had it done yesterday. It’s really only times like those when I see flames shooting out of my own ears. 🙂
    .-= ´s last blog ..Settle the Score =-.


  1. Amy Tucker says:

    Hormones and the New “Mommy War” http://bit.ly/13GyOI

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