Quantcast

The Porn Drawer

Filed Under: Uncategorized
Share:

You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead — your next stop, the Twilight Zone.

We bought our “truck” – that’s what we call our SUV – back in 2004.

Right after we purchased the “rig”, we started filling it with our crap and one of the things that landed in the middle console was a Ziploc bag of used disposable cameras [Remember those?] and used film.

Neither Tucker or I knew what was on that film but we were pretty sure that some pictures from when Tucker was at A-school with the Navy were on at least one of the cameras and probably some pictures of the dog. We couldn’t in good conscience toss a bunch of potential pictures so in the truck they stayed.

That film has hung out in the console of the truck till today.

We went to Target to get some bread and milk and an external hard drive for my laptop since I’m sending it off to Dell tomorrow to get worked on and Tucker took it upon himself to bring the baggie into Target. To give you an idea of how old this stuff is, the baggie is [well…was since it’s now in a Target dumpster] a pale yellow color and not totally transparent any longer. Heat does crazy things to plastic.

When all of the little paper film envelopes were filled out, we had a grand total of seven rolls of film to be developed.

Think back to your college days for a second.

Did you ever take pictures of yourself that maybe weren’t so flattering? Maybe a shot or two of you in the bathroom mirror in a horrible party shirt or maybe of you at the bar when you had one drink over when you should have stopped?

Yeah. Me either.

So, tonight, Tucker and I were talking about what might be on that film. He only remembers taking one of those rolls of film so that means that SIX of them belong to me. And, since I have the memory of a retarded goldfish, and I can’t remember taking ANY of those rolls of film, we’re left having NO clue as to what’s on them.

For all I know, there could be boob pictures on that film – not necessarily my boobs since I had a roommate for about a month who liked her boobs just a bit more than she should have.

This also means that some unsuspecting Target film person is going to have the fun, fun time of developing all of those rolls of film and they are going to know what the film contains before we will.

Needless to say, I’m NOT going to Target tomorrow to pick up those pictures. I’m doing the yellow noble thing of staying home with the kids while I send Tucker to pick up the incriminating awesome pictures.

Several years ago, before I met Tucker, I had a friend who worked at Walmart and she just happened to work in the film developing part. She used to come to school [high school] with tales of the store’s “porn” drawer. Apparently, the technicians were supposed to confiscate any nude pictures and destroy them. BUT, instead of destroying the pictures, the “associates” would confiscate the risqué stuff and put it in a box in one of the bottom drawers at her work.

Every so often, they would pull the pictures out of the box and take a look. There were times when we would be at lunch and she would giggle under her breath and when we would ask why she was laughing to herself like a crazy person, she would tell us that the person who had just walked by had several pictures in the porn drawer.

I wonder if this Target has a porn drawer?

I wonder if any of the pictures on these rolls of film would deserve to be filed in that drawer?

And then, to counter all of this anxiety over a proverbial Target porn drawer, I’m a little bit excited to see what’s on these rolls after having lived so long in our truck.

These pictures are almost like a time capsule back to before Tucker and I got married. Back to when I lived in an apartment in the ghetto that rented for $375/month with all utilities included. Back before kids, back about twenty pounds.

However, the film manager lady pretty much assured us that heat is a very, very bad thing for film and this film lived in a vehicle that lived in the Florida heat for four years. The chances of any pictures turning out is down there close to Kanye West turning into a nice guy.

The suspense is killing me but I figure if we’ve waited this long, we can wait another ten hours.

Image|sparkieblues

Twilight Zone Quote|Wikipedia

Comments

  1. You know you’re going to have to scan the good ones now, don’t you?
    .-= Amie aka MammaLoves´s last blog ..Eco Wo-Man! Eco Wo-Man! =-.

    • There’s one of me wearing Tucker’s bootcamp glasses, a white wife beater and a red bandanna on my head and it freakin’ rocks. Especially since I’m cleaning the oven. :0

      I’ll definitely scan a couple of them in and share them.

Trackbacks

  1. Amy Tucker says:

    New Blog Post: The Porn Drawer http://bit.ly/1Q3cwc

Speak Your Mind

*