Spare Parts

If you were following me yesterday on Twitter then you got to read me live tweeting my Nikon camera repair.

Correction.

You got to read about me shocking myself numerous times while I ripped into my Nikon.

We’ve had this camera since 2005 and it’s served us well but a couple of weeks ago, it just stopped working. Actually, it thought it was working. It would “take a picture” – flash and everything – but the pictures were all black and it was pretty obvious that something was up with the aperture.

Cara and Ollie had been carrying it around for the past few weeks and Cara had finally worn the batteries down to the point where the camera would turn itself off the second she turned it on. Since I wasn’t about to waste batteries on a camera that doesn’t work, I decided that I was going to fix the damn thing.

Of course, I wasn’t concerned by the fact that I had never fixed a camera.

And, since I was sitting at the dining room table with my laptop in front of me, I figured I’d take pictures of the camera fixing progress and share the whole thing.

You know that whole “famous last words” thing? Yeah…right after I got the back off I tweeted this: This is going to be a freakin’ cinch…

I’m such an idiot.

No. Really. Because a few minutes after that fateful tweet, I tweeted this: I just got the SHIT shocked out of me.

When I was typing that, my pinkie was doing this weird spasm thing. It wasn’t nearly as cool as it sounds.

If you’ll look at the picture below and note the black cylinder right below that lens. That’s a capacitor and it stores energy and it’s a bitch.

Of course I got nothing but support and sympathy from my Twitter followers:

It was around this time that I became a big chicken. Even though I was assured that I had discharged the capacitor THROUGH MY HAND, I still didn’t want anything to do with that freakin’ camera.

Hence these tweets:

• The camera is sitting here mocking me. I have to put it back together but I don’t wanna touch it.
• I wonder if I just put it in a sack and shake it around if it would magically put itself back together…and work
• I’m thinking about stomping it.

Chuck had words of encouragement:

To which I replied:

• Yeah! Discharged into my fucking hand!
• You’re just saying that so I’ll touch it again. You can’t fool me.

I finally bit the proverbial bullet and tweeted this:

• OK. So since the capacitor discharged THROUGH MY HAND, it should be hunky dory to put this back together. RIght?

And then this to Chuck:

• If I get shocked again, I’m coming after you.

And this:

• I’m scared.
• I didn’t realize I had a freakin’ electric fence hanging out in my camera. :0
• OK. I’m going to do this now. WIsh me luck.
• Yeah…I still haven’t done it.
• Fuck me. This is going to suck.

And more words of encouragement:

I follow such assholes. I mean supportive people.

And there was a ray of sunshine and angels sang and stuff because:

• Just accidentally touched the capacitor [because I’m a fucking genius] and it didn’t bite me again.
• Guess it really did fully discharge through my hand. Awesome.

And then, demons ran in and clubbed the angels.

I tweeted this as I was reassembling the cattle prod camera: My pinkie has finally quit twitching. That’s good. Makes typing easier.

And the comment I left for the above picture: Note the bulge in the camera casing, the “spare” parts and the fact that I don’t give a fuck.

And you know what?

After all of that work and pain, the thing won’t even come on now. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that there were spare parts.

Image|Tomás Fano