Let Me Tell You About My Night

Filed Under: Life

About a month ago, my friend Alana [HI, Alana! ] decided that I was going to see New Moon with her. On opening night.

Alana really isn’t one of those people you argue with and so I went online, bought my ticket and spent the next month stressing about how Tucker would handle the fact that Ollie was going to wake up around 10:30, my boobs wouldn’t be here and then Tucker would have to deal with that emergency.

Yesterday a new “emergency” developed when Alana called me to say that every single screen at the movie theater was showing New Moon, that they had sold completely out and that everyone was lining up and then at 10:30pm, the theater workers would open the doors and it would be a free for all.

Needless to say [though I will], I was pissed by this development since I had bought my ticket through Fandango and was worried that the theater wasn’t going to honor the ticket…especially since the guy Alana talked with said that we should “get there early” since I had used Fandango.

I made dinner – roast chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy and corn – and it was pretty fantastic.

Roast Chicken Dinner

The lemon is an inside Twitter joke of sorts.

After dinner, I set off to Alana’s and we followed two other chicks to the theater. When we got there, the LINES [as in holy crap! there are multiple freakin’ lines!] were already pretty long and we got there at like 8:45pm – you do the math because I’m damn tired but we were there early.

New Moon waiting line

It was cold. Really, really cold.

So, we waited and waited and waited. And we listened to this very militant theater worker who took her job a tad bit too seriously holler about not running and/or pushing as she stomped up and down the line.

Finally we got in and managed to get seats all together.

About three times, teenage theater worker boys came in and told everyone how no cameras or cellphones were aloud once the movie had begun and if you were caught then you’d be kicked out and you wouldn’t get your money back and they would beat you up and take your lunch money too.

OK. The beating up part and lunch money part was a blatant lie. But that’s what it felt like.

The previews started and there was a faint electronic buzzing noise and while the music for a preview would be fine, the voices of the actors sounded like the actors were under about three feet of water – you could hear they were saying something…you just couldn’t make out what exactly that something was.

At one point early on [and I can’t remember if it was after the movie had started or still during the previews] a theater worker came in and said that they were fixing the sound. This is an important little nugget of information since this shows that at least one employee knew that particular screen was having sound issues.

Sound fixed, movie proceeds.

Movie doesn’t suck as bad as the first one. I could have done without the real live laugh track from everyone in the theater because, really? The movie wasn’t that funny.

Also, the CGI bugged me – the wolves didn’t look as rockstar as they should have, the wave looked fake and the plane looked fake.

AND there was this damned Burger King bag sitting on the trash can outside of the movie theater in the movie and it was such blatant product placement that I mentioned it during the movie [Sorry, Alana!] and when I thought about writing about New Moon, that stupid bag was the first thing I thought of.

I’m sure I am the only person who had such an issue with the Burger King bag.

Now, I don’t want to hear anyone bitching about me ruining the movie for them from here on out because if you’ve read the book then you know what happens so stick a smiley faced lemon in it.

Around the time when everyone has breakfast at Emily’s house, the sound started to screw-up again. And for the next 45 minutes [I wish I was joking] the actors sounded like they were back under that three feet of water.

Ten minutes into it, people started losing their shit.

Women as old as my mom flounced off to demand that the theater workers fix the sound.

Nothing happened.

As the period of messed up sound continued, more and more people got up and started searching for an employee who could fix the sound.

People kept coming back and saying they couldn’t find anyone and that the entire place was deserted.

One of the guys in the audience even went so far as to find the projection room and beat on the door.

Time wore on and people really started getting crazy. There were several different people who loudly suggested calling 911 – cause that would fix everything! [Idiots]

Then came a couple of suggestions of pulling the fire alarm. Like the 911 call suggestions, I’m not quite sure what people expected to achieve with that. Did they really think if they pulled the fire alarm that the firemen would run back the movie, fix the sound and then tell everyone to have a great night? [Double idiots]

Finally, FINALLY, someone managed to WAKE THE PROJECTIONIST UP [!!!] and he ran the film back to where Bella jumps off the cliff…about ten minutes in front of where he should have run the film back to.

And here’s the kicker, even though the theater essentially made the movie 45 minutes longer, totally screwed up the continuity and enjoyment of the film and potentially put their patrons in danger by having NO employees present, no one is owed a refund since the theater showed the film in its entirety.

There were little kids in our theater – they looked seven or eight.

Can you imagine the panic if someone had pulled the fire alarm and there were no employees to direct the flow of bodies? What would have happened to those kids?

Movie ended. Everyone was pissed cause we didn’t get a refund and no one came to address the angry masses. When we left, we saw no one except for the people who had been in our theater.

Since this thing is already a novel, I might as well tell the rest of it.

After I left Alana’s, I still had an hour drive and it was about 3:45 am. I got a text from Tucker asking if I was on my way. Ollie had been up since midnight and I can only assume that Ollie and Tucker weren’t laughing and bonding or anything cool like that. Also, Tucker had to be up for work in a couple of hours so it wasn’t especially cool for him that Ollie was keeping Tucker up.

AND, from my perspective that sucked since my grand plan had been for me to come home after being up longer than I had been in a long time, sleep for a few hours and then when Tucker got home at noon [since he works a half day on Fridays] I’d take a nap. But, since he got a very small amount of sleep, I don’t see that happening…even though I got home at 4:50 this morning and had been up since 6 the previous morning. Cara woke me up at 6 this morning so I’m running on coffee at this point.

To just really ice that shit cake, the fog was so thick this morning that I had to drive 45mph at some points and had to call 911 on a driver who almost took me out on the Decatur bridge and who kept swerving. That was fun.

So yeah…New Moon.

Was it worth all of the bullshit that I went through last night?


I mean, Lautner was nice jailbait eye candy, Pattinson and Stewert did the “I love you so much” thing well and I bet it would have been a good flick if I could have watched it all the way through – and been able to hear the actors’ voices the whole time.

Will I be emailing this link to the movie theater?

You bet your sparkly vampires.

Images|Mine and Evens Hill


  1. You forgot the whole “Do NOT place your feet on the back of anyone else’s chair or we will throw you out…. Do NOT bring in outside food or drink or we will throw you out… Do NOT talk during the movie orwe will throw you out…Do NOT take pictures while inthe theater or we will throw you out… It is ILLEGAL to take pictures inside a theater, we WILL throw you out…etc…”

  2. I had a similar problem when I saw the movie Whip It. Whenever there was music AND dialogue, the music was too loud and you couldn’t hear what anyone was saying.

    But as far as I know no one complained. And no one did anything. So I’ll just to buy the dvd (I liked it that much anyway).

    I don’t know that I’ll be watching that movie tho. I wasn’t impressed with the first one.
    .-= Ari´s last blog ..Clarification. And pictures. In that order. =-.

    • The first movie sucked. I watched it because I had read all of the books [a couple of times] and figured, “What the hell? I might as well.”

      This one wasn’t bad – really. I would wait to see it on DVD, though. I don’t think I could handle another round of listening to people crying during parts that I didn’t think were that sad.

  3. My sister-in-law, Jessica, just called to tell me what happened to her when she went to see New Moon earlier today.

    Apparently the fire alarm actually went off during the movie and no one moved a hair. She said she could even hear a fire truck’s sirens and people just stayed in their seats – Jessica included. :rotfl:

    After the alarms were turned off, everyone clapped and then the screen went black.

    The theater moved back the film to when the alarms went off and they got to watch their movie like nothing had happened.

  4. I called the theater, went up there, threw a fit, and got a voucher. Call the theater- I don’t know if it would be worth a trip over for you, but it might make you feel a little better. I took Danyelle with me and they gave her one as well. Shannon was going to go up there last night, I’m not sure what her outcome was.

    • I’m glad they did the right thing but like I told you on the phone, I’m not driving an hour there and then an hour back only to have to drive back there to see another movie. :0

  5. The theatre handled it wrong. I worked in management for quite awhile and if we had even the slightest problem, I mean tiny glitches, we always gave out passes. ALWAYS. It really costs the theatre very little. Many people don’t use them, you can’t use them for films that have no passes allowed, theatres don’t even make much money off box office – most of it comes from concessions. It is pretty crappy that they didn’t do that. The most heinous things can happen during a movie and people are perfectly happy if you hand them a pass on their way out the door. Things go wrong, that’s all you have to do to make it right. I gave out eleven million passes in my life – working for large theatre groups or tiny, privately owned theatres. It’s just what you do. I’d bitch, even if you don’t want to drive there. They might mail you passes if they know you’re a writer.

    That being said, I thought New Moon was actually almost good. I read the books more than once, and they’re not my typical fare, but I enjoyed them. Twilight the movie was one of the most craptactular movies of all time, so I was prepared for a giant turd, but was pleasantly surprised. I thought Kristen Stewart’s acting was much better. The vamp makeup made it cheesy, though they are vampires so it’s nice that they looked the part. The wolves are HOT. I’d give it a solid 2 1/2 stars, which may actually improve when I see it again. I thought they cut out some unnecessary crap from the book. Eclipse will be good even if it’s not because I like the wolves best and Taylor won’t be jailbait anymore.

  6. And obviously your projectionist was stoned. That is the best job ever, FYI, if you can get it. 🙂 But the film was either threaded incorrectly or spliced wrong for your soundtrack to be messed up like that, and that is just plain stupidity. Complain, or I’ll do it for you.

    • I didn’t complain because I’m chicken. I’d rather be passive aggressive and write a blog post about it.

      And as far as the projectionist being stoned, he looked like he was about 12 so maybe he was just sleepy? OR, maybe sleepy and stoned. 😉

  7. Danyelle Bragwell says:

    wow Amy you are officially my hero….I firmly agree and hysterically laughed at your blog while here at work (that got some looks)…I’m even one of your groupies now on twitter;)


  1. Amy Tucker says:

    My #newmoon post: Let Me Tell You About My Night http://bit.ly/rb4SX

  2. Amy Tucker says:

    @jcarlin It's too long to write on Twitter. :0 http://bit.ly/rb4SX

  3. Amy Tucker says:

    My New Moon "review" from several months ago. 😀 http://bit.ly/rb4SX

  4. Amy Tucker says:

    @Karenof4 http://bit.ly/rb4SX Opening night of New Moon

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