Sh*t My Daughter Says

Filed Under: Life

After her father made her angry with some random transgression:

Cara: Mom? How old is Daddy?

Me: 30

Cara: Well, in that case, he gets to sit in timeout for thirty minutes. DADDY!!! SIT IN TIMEOUT FOR THIRTY MINUTES!!!

After Oliver ran smack-dab into the wall as he was chasing after Sophie:

[Shaking her head in exasperation] Sometimes I just don’t know about that boy.

As Oliver tried to take Cara’s banana:

[Cara held the banana high over her head – just out of Ollie’s reach.] NO, OLLIE! It’s my prerogative as the BIG SISTER to get the first banana.

Telling a story to herself:

…and the ogre went to the refrigerator and he said, “But there are no groceries. I’ll eat a little boy!”

On one of her many chosen professions:

I’ve decided I’m going to be a policeman so I can drive fast and throw people in jail.

On why she couldn’t help clean her room:

Cara: But, MOM! I’m a princess and a princess’s servants do that!

Me: So I’m your servant?

Cara: I thought you knew that.

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of stuff she’s said because she does talk a lot. Considering she’s only three, I shudder to think what she’s going to be like in ten years.

Hold me?