At first we told her I was “going to the doctor”.
Being a bit swoofter than your average child of three, she quickly caught on that our explanation might not be exactly true.
So, Tucker, with his inspiring way with words, decided to tell Cara I was going to see the “crazy doctor.” Again, being quick on the uptake, Cara of course asked what crazy was and Tucker really stepped into that one, now didn’t he?
I asked my counselor about what exactly we should say as an “excuse” for my monthly excursions. Her explanation was to just say I was going to “talk to someone about how I spent [my] time and to assure Cara everything was alright with Mommy and Daddy.”
Shockingly enough, that never came up until the next month.
Again came the question and again, we said I was going to the doctor.
The real root of all of this is growing up, I always knew I was “off”. At times, I even called myself crazy but if anyone else ever called me that, it was like someone stabbed me in my cold, black heart.
It’s kind of like someone who is riddled with tumors. They’re allowed to call themselves a sack of tumors but if anyone else calls them that then it’s a bit in bad taste. Don’t you think?
Take this little nugget of information as an example.
When I had that cantaloupe sized tumor removed along with my right tube and ovary, I named that damn tumor and was thoroughly bummed when the pathologist flew that tumor off to St. Jude’s for research.
I named the tumor. No. Really. I named it Phil.
I was 14. And I’ve already admitted I’m a bit crazy. Just don’t call me that, OK?
THE POINT is that I know what it’s like to live with a bit of a stigma hanging over the ole noggin and the last thing I want is for Cara to grow up with this irrational fear of crazy people.
Cause some of us are only a little bit crazy. Just a smidgen.
So, I’ll try out my counselor’s suggestion with the whole everything’s A-OK because it’s pretty much true and I’m not lying since I think it’s absolute crap to lie to my kids.
Do you think the counselor is right or do you think we should just wing it?