Thank you to TurboTax for sponsoring my writing about household finances.Learn more about how TurboTax can help you find every tax deduction you deserve. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.
In our family, Tucker does the bills.
When we were still in the Navy, I did them but we weren’t great about communicating about what we had each spent and paying bills turned from being a fun challenge–I like paperwork cause I’m weird–into this stressful monster that loomed in the shadows right under the checkbook.
Eventually I turned the bills over to Tucker because I couldn’t handle the stress.
And the communication issues we had been having?
They didn’t get any better.
Tucker became the one who was stressed and I floated along blissfully unaware. Something like that can’t go on for very long but after how stressed I had been when I was doing the bills, I wasn’t exactly beating down the proverbial door to get knee deep in our finances.
The stress isn’t the only thing that kept me from worrying too much about the bills. When Tucker get’s angry about money, he hollers. Completely justified hollering but hollering nonetheless. The problem is that when I get hollered at, I shut down.
SO. You’ve got Tucker pissed about something having to do with money so he hollers and I shut down so the conversation essentially ends before it even has a chance to start.
And then we started seriously considering buying a house.
Tucker wanted to wait until we had payed down our debt–which I could understand–and he assured me he had a plan. But it was a plan I knew nothing about. But it wasn’t like I had ever asked Tucker about any of his plans with money; I was afraid of how bad things were.
We were stalemated with me thinking Tucker was stupid for not wanting to buy the house right now and him thinking I was dumb for not wanting to pay down our debt. And then we talked. And Tucker didn’t holler at me and things weren’t ANYTHING like I had feared and now we’re on the same page.
I’m included in financial decisions when before he assumed I just didn’t care and I know we have a goal to work toward–we’re getting close–so we can finally have a backyard and no one living above us.
Do I want to do our bills now?
Nope. Not even a little bit.
Am I glad that Tucker and I are on the same page about the money.