At night, about an hour before I plan on going to bed…or whatever, I go outside and read.
The kids are in bed, Tucker’s usually watching his YouTube channels and that time alone is my way of decompressing from the day.
Last night I came in to get some more peach tea to find Ollie with his back against the love seat.
Instantly he started saying, “I’m sorry, Momma. I’m sorry, Momma.”
He sounded so small and pathetic that all I could do was pick him up and hug him close.
As I carried Ollie into his room, he delivered a few half hearted kicks to my thighs and put his head on my shoulder.
“What do you want for dinner tomorrow night?” I asked.
“Pizza!” he said, as he lifted his head and smiled.
“No. We can’t have pizza every night.”
He grinned and I laid him across me like he weighed nine pounds instead of 30 something.
As he stared up at the ceiling–his eyes growing heavier with each sway–I told him I had four pieces of my heart: one for him, one for Cara, one for Daddy and one for me.
“That’s why the heart has four chambers; everyone gets one piece.”
He smiled up at me like he knew exactly what I was talking about and as I tucked him under his Buzz Lightyear blanket and his robot comforter, I asked him what he would dream about.
Oliver pointed to my chest, then his chest and smiled.
He closed his eyes, sighed and drifted off to sleep.