Battle of the Tarts

Filed Under: Life, Tech/Videos/Video Games

I think it was around the time Katy Perry released California Gurls that Cara became obsessed with Perry. I don’t think I knew who sang the song when I first heard it but it had Snoop Dogg so I figured it couldn’t be all bad.

Dr Craig

My first exposure to Katy Perry was with her “I Kissed a Girl” song and I was all like, “Same song, different verse.” since Sobule already played that card back in the 90s. Basically I didn’t like Perry on principle; she seemed gimmicky. And, yeah. I thought Sobel’s was gimmicky, too but the song was relatively original.

You know the song I’m talking about, right?

The repressed housewives and all that?

Perry’s song is sluttastic.

And then Mom and I watched 500 Days of Summer–if you haven’t seen it then you must.

Katy Perry was in that movie! Not only could she kinda sing but she was a really good actress! My estimation of Ms. Perry went up by a factor of about ten. I could listen to her music without hating her.

But guess what?

Not the same chick.

The one on the left is Katy Perry. The one on the right is Zooey Deschanel–Bones’s real-life sister–who played Summer in 500 Days of Summer.

Unfortunately, Katy Perry had already gotten her bubblegum pink finger nails into me.


And Cara’s obsessed.

Double damn.

And she LOVES OMG WOW A LOT !!! the California Gurls video. Luckily, all of the sexual innuendo goes flying right over Cara’s head and all she focuses on is the candy and pretty colors.

And then there’s Ke$ha. And the dollar sign isn’t a typo. Google it. Would I lie about something like that? I think not.

I readily admit this song is on my “run your ass off” mix. I also readily admit my FIL completely wiped the floor with my ass when he and I Wii Just Dance 2 dueled; dude’s got the moves.

Tart–with regards to a person–can either mean: “sharp in character, spirit, or expression; cutting; caustic: a tart remark.”[1] or a dirty, dirty whore and since I don’t know either of these chicks, let’s just call them tarts–but mean caustic and not strumpet–since Battle of the Caustics makes little sense.

As I’ve been rambling along, I’ve had this voice in the back of me head–a potential commenter, maybe?–asking me why I’m letting my four year old listen to these types of tunes if I think the singers act like women of the night?

Simple answer?

We don’t have cable and she doesn’t see the videos. And her new favorite Katy Perry song is Fireworks and though it PAINS ME, the Fireworks song is pretty badass.

I guess I should have been more serious with this but I seem to be lacking the will to be outraged today. My kids like to dance and sing to Katy Perry and Ke$ha. I can only hope this doesn’t lead to a future of drug use and teen pregnancy. Pretty sure we’re safe for the moment.

And who wins the battle of the tarts?

Cara seems to be hedging her bets. “I LIKE THEM BOTH EQUALLY!!! THEY’RE BOTH PRETTY! THEY’RE PRINCESSES!!!”

Yeah…I might have pushed for a decision on that.

Side note: cross your fingers for me since the contest by KmartGamer for a trip with them to E3 ends tomorrow. Leave a comment if you’re feeling charitable.

  1. [1]“tart.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 29 Mar. 2011.


  1. I’m not a fan of Ke$ha at all, but I have to agree with you that Katy Perry is catchy and has a way of seeping into my brain until I’m bouncing my head to her songs. I’m partial to Teenage Dream myself…do you watch Glee? An all-boy show choir does that song and it’s fantastic! My oldest son is 11 and he likes a lot of pop music, including both of these little tarts…I don’t mind him listening to the music and answer all questions he has regarding the lyrics as honestly as I think he’s capable of understandging, but I’m drawing the line at watching the videos right now. Unlike your kids, he’s old enough to know what he’s watching and it’s just not appropriate for him right now, you know?

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