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I Spank My Kids

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Storm Trooper Spanking

chauromano

Spanking is one of those issues in parenting that’s best not talked about unless you’re ready to hear some extremely vocal opinions. Just like “natural” birth. And breastfeeding. And bottle feeding. And circumcision. And daycare. And how much TV your kids watch. And candy. I’m going to stop now. Chances are good you’re a parent and you know all of this already.

I spank my kids.

I spank them on their butts and only with my hand; I have better uses for my wooden spoons. Spanking isn’t the only way I punish our kids when they’ve earned punishment. Both of my kids are well acquainted with timeout. They’ve both lost privileges. Cara and Ollie understand what is expected of them and not one punishment is appropriate for every situation.

One of the things I keep reading is someone who spanks when they don’t have anger as an excuse is basically a scary, heartless person. But if you spank because you’re angry then you’re a brute and a child abuser. I wasn’t beaten as a child. I was spanked but not often. And I might be crazy as a soup sandwich but I suspect that’s more due to biology than being spanked. It’s implied that if you spank your children you are less intelligent and less refined than parents who don’t spank. To which I reply, “Nuh-uh.”

As long as you’re not abusing your kids in some fashion, I don’t care how you parent. I’m not you. Your kids aren’t mine. You gotta do what works for your family. Kristen and Catherine both choose not to spank and they so freakin’ smart in their posts. They chose not to spank their kids. I choose to.

I won’t make excuses for choosing to spank just like I won’t make excuses for putting Ollie and Cara in timeout or any other punishment method we choose to use. No matter what punishment they receive, we talk about it after the fact and I make sure they understand why they were punished.

I suspect the feedback on this is going to be negative but I rarely see posts that speak up about an unpopular parenting decision. This is what works for us and I totally respect that it might not work for you.

 

Comments

  1. Ind1fference says:

    Spare the rod, spoil the child.

  2. sarahcb1208 says:

    Nope, no negative from me. You’re right, not many people will admit to it. I admit to it. I spank my kids. I also playfully swat them on the butt, and shake a fist at them. They know I would never hurt them for no reason, and that if they’re getting spanked, it’s usually a last resort or they did something that could really hurt them, and I want them to associate what they did with pain.

    My kids also lose privileges and get time-outs and all that. At six and eight, they seem to be a lot better behaved than the parents around here who go “spanking is beating” and all that BS.

  3. jon.lee.coburn says:

    *Overreacting negative comment*

    There. It’s out of the way. I was spanked. I spank too. Particularly when they do something to hurt each other. It’s an object lesson basically. You can tell a child as much as you want that something is hot, but they aren’t going to understand that until they find out themselves that its hot and it hurts. Just like they won’t realize certain things they do hurt until they’re on the receiving end. It’s how we’ve gotten to where we are as a species…question everything and be curious, and if it hurts you’re doing it wrong or shouldn’t do it.

  4. TheAmyTucker says:

    @jon.lee.coburn I know I’m supposed to be taking this seriously and all that but when I read this, “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong” all I could think of was this: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3629/3646652574_ea6722f108.jpg

  5. thepsychobabble says:

    Eh. I’ve spanked. It’s not something I enjoy (who does?), and it’s also not the only tool at my disposal. From what I gather, in our rural community, we’re still more the norm than the exception re:spanking. Like you, I’m not interested in getting into a debate about it, and I’m not about to tell someone else how they should parent. So I usually avoid the topic altogether. But I think there is a definite tendency in certain mothering/parenting communities to see all those who spank as ignorant trash. And that’s unfortunate.

  6. TheAmyTucker says:

    @thepsychobabble “…in our rural community…” You just proved you’re a hick and trash. Sheesh, Jennifer.

  7. thepsychobabble says:

    @TheAmyTucker lmao, my bad. I forgot that rule, “If there isn’t at least 2 Starbucks in town, you’re a hillbilly.” :p

  8. TheAmyTucker says:

    @thepsychobabble There ya go.

  9. melanna says:

    I was spanked growing up. It definitely didn’t “harm” me. But in my pre-children life, I worked with kids and heard all the psycho-babble on the better ways to parent. They had good points. I was determined not to spank. Then I gave birth to a strong-willed child (I was one also – she totally gets it from me). I read the book “The Strong Willed Child” by James Dobson. And totally had major issues because he was all for spanking. I went about 2 years being able to not spank her. I used every other form of discipline I could. But there are some times that a spanking is the only thing that works. So I use it. Like others, it’s not the first choice and it’s not all I use. But I also have a really sweet little girl, who is (usually) quick to obey, which is more than I can say for a lot of my non-spanking friends. Related? Perhaps. Or maybe I just got a really sweet (strong-willed) little girl. *wink*

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