Spanking is one of those issues in parenting that’s best not talked about unless you’re ready to hear some extremely vocal opinions. Just like “natural” birth. And breastfeeding. And bottle feeding. And circumcision. And daycare. And how much TV your kids watch. And candy. I’m going to stop now. Chances are good you’re a parent and you know all of this already.
I spank my kids.
I spank them on their butts and only with my hand; I have better uses for my wooden spoons. Spanking isn’t the only way I punish our kids when they’ve earned punishment. Both of my kids are well acquainted with timeout. They’ve both lost privileges. Cara and Ollie understand what is expected of them and not one punishment is appropriate for every situation.
One of the things I keep reading is someone who spanks when they don’t have anger as an excuse is basically a scary, heartless person. But if you spank because you’re angry then you’re a brute and a child abuser. I wasn’t beaten as a child. I was spanked but not often. And I might be crazy as a soup sandwich but I suspect that’s more due to biology than being spanked. It’s implied that if you spank your children you are less intelligent and less refined than parents who don’t spank. To which I reply, “Nuh-uh.”
As long as you’re not abusing your kids in some fashion, I don’t care how you parent. I’m not you. Your kids aren’t mine. You gotta do what works for your family. Kristen and Catherine both choose not to spank and they so freakin’ smart in their posts. They chose not to spank their kids. I choose to.
I won’t make excuses for choosing to spank just like I won’t make excuses for putting Ollie and Cara in timeout or any other punishment method we choose to use. No matter what punishment they receive, we talk about it after the fact and I make sure they understand why they were punished.
I suspect the feedback on this is going to be negative but I rarely see posts that speak up about an unpopular parenting decision. This is what works for us and I totally respect that it might not work for you.