The Night I Thought Tucker was Dead

Filed Under: Life

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Tucker is a courteous guy. He calls when he’s going to be late; I can always count on him to be home by at least 1700. He makes an effort to keep to a loose schedule and is somewhat predictable in his routine.

A couple of weeks ago, Tucker didn’t call and as the minutes ticked by, my calls to him went unanswered.

Tucker also switches his phone to silent when he’s in class and usually sticks his phone in his bag so missing a call from me happens occasionally.

Mind you, I didn’t freak out at first.

But as it got later and later, I started thinking about all of the things that might have happened and I went from being pissed off at him not being home at his regular time to me being scared as hell about wrecks and no one knowing who to call.

The kids and I had bought cupcakes earlier in the day and I wouldn’t let the kids eat their cupcakes until Tucker got home. I started to wonder if they would always associate cupcakes with the night their father was killed in a car crash and let the kids eat their desert before dinner since I refused to let myself dwell on that horrible thought.

I started with the base police but ran into an issue of not knowing where he works since he just started one of the Army’s internship programs. The woman at the base was extremely kind and understanding and assured me there had been no accidents on base.

Next I tried the city’s police department.

The dude there was an asshole and I suspect my frantic call wasn’t the first the guy had heard. I’m sure he thought Tucker was out with his girlfriend.

I tried the city’s main hospital and was told there were two new patients in the emergency room but they were due to a car-bike collision; I dismissed that one. I called Tucker’s folks and by that point was close to hysterical. I kept trying to make sure the kids didn’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks. Cara and Ollie didn’t seem upset or nervous and were quite happy with the cupcakes and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as I could.

Finally, after I finally admitted to myself that something was seriously wrong and I had dug through all of Tucker’s school paperwork hoping to find contact numbers for the folks in Tucker’s intern program, my phone rang and it was Tucker. He tried to apologize and all I could do was scream into the phone, hang up on him and fling my phone at the wall.

Come to find out, Tucker had been talking to his instructor about the possibility of landing a prime assignment for when he completed the school work portion of the class and his phone–still on silent–was in his bag while Tucker was in another room. He hadn’t heard his phone and when he finally found the phone, he was met with about a billion missed calls.

I cried and he looked like he might start too and I apologized for crying but I couldn’t stop. In my life, I’ve never been so scared and felt so powerless. So hopeless.

But he’s not dead and for that I’m very glad.


  1. CharlesColp says:

    having been there myself (on your end) with all of the horrible thoughts etc… I think you handled it better than I did. Thank you for a wonderful post that tells me I am not as insane as I thought I was at the beginning of the day today..

  2. @CharlesColp I meant to write about it and then completely forgot about it until…well…I wrote about it. 😀 We can’t be the only two folks who have felt like this. HOWEVER, if you’re using me as a yard stick then you have more issues than you know. 😉

  3. Jacqpinks says:

    sometimes us women do insane things and it just makes us human some women are a little bit more over the top b/c some have over acting hormones just makes us more unpredictable who likes predictable right?? HuGs♥ I admire you for being able to be so honest and share

  4. @Jacqpinks Have you read my Twitter stream? Oh. Wait. You have. 😀 You know how I talk…Tucker has come to expect me to write just about whatever comes to my head. Serves him right for marrying me.

  5. EricaMueller says:

    Ok, I’ve never gone so far as to call the police, but hubs brother? Yes. A few times. Unlike yours, my husband doesn’t think to call when he is going to be late, decides to go to dinner with a coworker, etc, so I’ll be sitting there, with cold dinner at 7pm wondering where the heck? Cell phones? I don’t know why he has one cause he never answers it.

    I’m not a worry wart by nature, but when someone’s 2 hours late… you bet I’m going to start making calls! Thank goodness hub’s brother lives close and can help me try to find him. lol

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