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Where Do I Go From Here?

Filed Under: Book Related, Food and Drink, Mental Health, Tech/Videos/Video Games
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I have entered no man’s land with regards to where I stand in the blogging world.

And that’s awesome when you’re just blogging cause you want to write about what’s going on with your life and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

BUT, when you’re wanting to gain some respect in MULTIPLE areas, it’s hard to do so with one blog.

Jack of all trades, master of none. That’s me.

Focus? What’s that?

I can remember telling my father, as we drove to the next bean field that needed to be checked, that I was a hell of a catch.

I was 14.

I knew about horses and horse breeding and Quarter Horse bloodlines. I had “soft hands” and had broken my first horse–I still have her. She lives at Tucker’s parents’ house. She was born in ’89.–when I was nine. I knew about crop rotation and pesticides and herbicides. I had been driving since I was 11. I could cook like a hell of a housewife. I could read people like The Mentalist.

I was a hell of a catch.

Now I’m almost 30–shot yo mouth!!!–and I can do all of those things and I’m damn savvy at Twitter and Google + and I can do websites–I did Taste Like Crazy and Sims 3 Gamer…among others–if someone wants to pay me. I know about monetization and actually make money with my sites. I know tech and I know gaming. I won a spot with KmartGamer to get an everything included trip to E3. I write for Kmart Gamer now. I’m a damn good writer. No. Really. I’m working on a book and it doesn’t suck. Ask, Crissy. She’s read some of the rough chapters. I know about spirits/booze from writing at b5Media. I know about Sim 3 and have a site dedicated to the subject.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want a million sites which is why I started my “baby feeds.” I’ve gotten some subscriptions to the various feeds–you can subscribe by looking above the header–and I like the idea that I’ve given people the option to read what they’re interested in reading. I like the fact that I can write about tech one day and booze the next and maybe I can publish a story and if you’re only interested in Mental Health then that’s all you read. I write about my/our life. I suppose I could be classified as a “mommy blogger” if you only read my “Life” feed.

I know I don’t write as honestly as I did when I first started Taste Like Crazy–then it was called Tastes Like Crazy but I couldn’t buy Tastes Like Crazy since someone was camping on my URL. I sensor myself more now. Can you believe it?! Me. Censoring myself. Heh.

Some “brands” are put off by my cussing–I write like I talk and think. Some don’t know what hole I fill–That sounds so dirty.

You can’t please everyone but I feel like I’m not pleasing anyone.

Least of all myself.

Maybe I’m supposed to figure out where I fit and go from there? But do I pick one and ignore everything else?

I had hoped all of this rambling would help me focus on something I’m passionate about. I had hoped I could pare down to what makes me me. Result?

I’m more confused than when I started.

What do I want?

I want to contribute to our monthly income. I want to not feel like a parasite. I want to prove that I am more than “just a mom.” I want my kids to still have their mom and I want to do a damn good job with them and I haven’t done a BAD job. Can one balance doing a damn good job with their kids and finding success with what they want to do.

What if they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up?

Comments

  1. marybabysteps says:

    I could’ve written this myself. Truly. I wish I had advice for you. I’ve decided to TRY to focus on my niche blogs because it is an area of interest for me, and I believe they could be profitable. But I keep my “mom blog” because I’m interested in so many things. Good luck. I’ll be watching for the great things you’re going to do. Re-read this post, and you’ll see you’ve already done a number of great things.

  2. You know you’re in the same boat as so many of us. You’re feeling like you are treading water and getting nowhere fast. The smallest little financial hiccup and you feel like you are contributing nothing to your family. With all that said, I know it’s total crap. You’ve done some cool shit… I mean how many people get to “test drive” different kinds of alcohol? You’ve managed to create a pretty cool family and your marriage pretty much rocks. You were smart enough to know that Tucker wasn’t happy as a PR and that JAX wasn’t for your family. You moved, you guys are still doing well. There is no “cardboard box behind wal-mart” in your future.

    • But… This isn’t a pep talk… We’ve “pep talked” the shit out of each other for almost 10 years. I still recommend to people that they go through their pregnancies with their best friends, and then call them every day for the first 6 weeks to have a cigarette together via telephone.

      You’re not going to know what you want to do. That’s what makes you Amy. You write about what you’re thinking that day, and lord knows… No two days are ever the same at your house. Will that draw a steady paycheck? Nope. You want a steady paycheck, then you’re going to have to work at the corner market. Freelance writing isn’t steady work, but you are damn good at it. Like you said, you can cook the shit out of just about anything and you’ve never been on CNN for losing your kids, letting them drive the family car etc. Tucker thinks you pretty much rock and we know that Tucker thinks very few things rock in this world.

    • Keep writing and it will come togther. Try and mold it the way you think it should go and you’re not going to be happy. I know you better than a lot of people on this planet and these my words for you…

      Shut up and write.

      I’ll always love you and be your best friend, no matter what… Now, go get Ollie off the top of the TV because I know that’s where he is… :)

      p.s. Character limit!? What the fuck!? Jesus… I guess this shit is going in two replies…

    • @HollynWhen I read this: “You’re not going to know what you want to do. That’s what makes you Amy.” I knew you still “get” me. :D

  3. CharlesColp says:

    I agree with @Hollyn on this.. you are a gifted writer! That is what led me to reading your work all of these years. You write with a wit that I look for in published works and rarely find. Don’t give up on writing but find your way to get what you want out of it too. When I grow up I will let you know how that goes, the problem seems to be that in the time of our parents and grandparents it was rather easy to “grow up” the jobs were not varied and you could start when you were old enough, if you lived in a mining town you probably became the best miner you could and dreams were for those fortunate enough to have choices. We are the fortunate ones with choices now and deciding on only talent seems a waste. so take your love of cooking, horses, family, and self and wrap those into what you already do so well. Writers must have multitudes of knowledge because our characters are never truly us and we take the things we know to shape the good and the bad ones. Get some peaceful sleep knowing you are further along than you realize and just be Amy!

    • @CharlesColp This comment is wholly inadequate in comparison to your comment but I wanted to let you know I love you and thank you for your friendship. It means more to me than you know. Well…I guess NOW you know. :D

  4. karlaarcher says:

    gah – hello – you sound like me. I have no idea what to do with all of my (online) voices… Ponder that daily. Can’t wait to see what you figure out!

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