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Things I Say At Walmart

Filed Under: Life
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Pulling out hair

Image | Meredith_Farmer

“Don’t touch that.”

“You don’t have to touch all of that. Promise”

“You’re going to get tired holding on like that.”

“I can’t see you if you stand right in front of the cart.”

“Get your hands off of the shelf.”

“Didn’t I tell you I can’t see you when you’re right in front of the cart? Is your ear Ok? Well, I doubt you’re going to die from getting whacked in the ear by the cart.”

“Cara! Enough! Sit down and stop showing your undies!”

“I SET FIRE TO YOUR BRAIN. WATCHED IT LEARN AS I…”

“Cara, please stop singing at the top of your lungs.”

“Do NOT touch those wine bottles!”

I went to Walmart yesterday. Just the kids and me. I’m obviously an idiot.

Comments

  1. thepsychobabble says:

    “Pay attention where you’re going, you almost got ran over.””Stand by the cart”
    “Put your hands on the cart”
    “Stop pulling on the cart while I’m trying to push it.”
     
    I hate shopping with kids. 

    •  @thepsychobabble All of that. I realized a couple of days ago I’ll be able to go grocery shopping while Cara’s in school and it’ll just be Ollie and me. With just one I’ll be able to strap it into the cart and it can’t escape. 

  2. JUST realized–months later–that I put this: “I SET FIRE TO YOUR BRAIN. WATCHED IT LEARN AS I…” in quotes like *I* had been singing that when CARA was the one singing it. blah

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