I Need a Peephole in My Door

Filed Under: Life
Green door

Image | brentdanley

Just had a door-to-door salesman dude show up–second one since we moved here in November. He was selling magazines trying to “earn points so he can be promoted and be a mentor.” He “came from the ghetto and just wants a promotion.” The whole thing is a scam and it’s been proven as such many, many times. AI wanted to tell him to go join the military and quit being a scammer but I was too worried about him getting closer and closer to my freaking door.

I told him I didn’t have a checkbook here–which I don’t–and that I don’t have any cash–which I don’t. He kept snaking his neck around and trying to look into the house. He asked if there was a better time for him to come back. I told him Tucker gets home at 1730 so he might try then.

OF COURSE it was AFTER the dude finally gtfo that I realized I had just told him I’m alone with two kids and a dog. I’m a fucking idiot.

And why was it that Sophie decided to be a good, quiet dog the whole time? A quick glimpse of an intimidating looking pit bull would have been helpful…just as long as he couldn’t see her tail wagging.

SO not answering the door again.


  1. EricaMueller says

    We have big windows out front. They can see that we’re home. I hate that not answering the door really isn’t an option. Any why do they always have to ring the doorbell multiple times and wake the baby? Why not just knock like everybody else?
    See what you did? You left a place for me to vent.

    •  @EricaMueller Just today I realized that Ollie’s bedroom window shares the porch SO. if someone knocks on the door or rings the bell, I can peek out Ollie’s window.And you can always come here to vent. What do you think *I * do here? 😉

    • sdreinhart1975 says

       @EricaMueller Not answering is always an option… if they are persistent… open the door and say “Did you not get that I do not want to speak with you by the way I wasn’t opening the door?  GTFO my porch before I shoot you justifiably for trespass and harassment.”

  2. ColoradoMom says

    Scary stuff! Lock the doors and teach the pitbull an attack command, like “crazy scary door-to-door salesman… attack!” I don’t have dogs, but I just assume they can understand long rambly sentences. 😉 

    •  @ColoradoMom My best bet would have been for me to have something Sophie would have eaten–read that as anything–and then for me to toss it out the door and hope she looked intimidating. However, I know my dog and the second she realized I had just tossed a bit of salad out the door, she would have been back on the dude wagging her tail and acting the fool. 😀 

  3. I can make you feel better….I told the guy who came to my house (same scam) that I couldn’t afford it because I was a grad student and living on child support. YES. I just told this freaky guy that I’m a single mom. YEESH. Stupid much?

    •  @buffi_sugarmommy Wait…are you ME?! Cause that’s exactly like something I would have done.

    • sdreinhart1975 says

       @TheAmyTucker  @buffi_sugarmommy at-least you didn’t tell them you were behind the door because you didn’t have time to put clothes on.  I know someone who did that once.  I just stood up walked to the door and slammed it on the guys head when he tried to peak in… then I asked her WTF she was doing telling someone who just announced he was a felon that she didn’t have enough clothing on to open the door all the way. Very sweet girl but not the brightest.  she sincerely had no clue how stupid or flirty it made her sound.  

  4. ShredderFeeder says

    The correct response is “My husband is napping and he just got back from visiting his parole officer so he’s in a REALLY mean mood and I don’t want to wake him.” 

  5. sdreinhart1975 says

    You should have mentioned that Tucker gets back from the gun range at 5p and You need to get to your Krav self defense class at 9p… that you are stuck waiting on the alarm company agent because they are upgrading the system today… blah blah blah… also… buy pepper spray… keep it prominently displayed on your keyring.  Hold the keys in your hand while at the door… buy a double pack… keep 1 in your back pocket open and ready for use… keep the other in your hand as a fist pack.

Leave a Reply to ShredderFeeder Cancel reply