Game of Thrones Game Review Gif Heavy YAY!

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Game of Thrones video game reviewI’ve never read a single one of George R. R. Martin’s books; I haven’t gotten around to them yet.

I’ve never seen an episode of Game of Thrones; we don’t have cable.

I expected Game of Thrones to stand on its own merits. That’s not too much to ask of a game that had been in development for seven years.

The story of Game of Thrones takes place during the first book of the saga, at the time when Jon Arryn, the Hand of King Robert Baratheon, is found dead at King’s Landing. The game allows players to follow two epic quests:
Mors and Alester’s quests. Their totally original story was canonized by George R.R. Martin himself and perfectly integrates the original story the fans are so familiar with in the series.

Mimicking the books, the two heroes’ stories are told alternatively, chapter by chapter, each character sharing the role of main character…up until their paths cross during a common quest.

Game of Thrones is touted as having at least 30 hours of gameplay. I’m damn happy I haven’t read any of Martin’s books since I suspect I would have lost another 27 hours of my life as I trudged through the mess that is this game in desperate search for even a glimmer of what everyone won’t shut the hell up about with regards to the A Song of Ice and Fire books and the HBO series.

moles town game of thrones video game concept art


At any moment during combat, you will have the option to switch into slow motion to analyze, anticipate and adopt the best attack or defense tactic! Plan up to three special attacks for each character under your control and launch them at the best moment to amplify their effects!

The combat reminds me of the old-school JRPGs where you queue up some moves, hit go and wait for the fight to stop so you can then do it all over again. There’s no reason to reinvent the wheel and there’s sure as hell no reason to take something that could be super awesome and make it hurt my head.

The whole process of kicking someone’s ass–which should be a joy–is forced into a clunky, counterintuitive box I was bored with before I was finished with the fighting tutorial.

Characterization/Voice Acting

You know how in Oblivion there were like five character models for “extras” and three voices for the entire game?

Game of Thrones isn’t THAT bad but I’ve now ruined you because, when you play this game–and you will cause you’re contrary like that–you’re going to notice clones of the same soldier over and over and sometimes even in the same room. It’s going to happen. Trust me. Add all that to the fact the characters repeat the same actions multiple times in a scene and you have me just about ready to go club some baby seals.

The voice acting is…adequate.

Look, I’m not expecting to be overwhelmed with emotion each time a character opens its pretty, little, digital mouth but, more times than not, it sounds like the voice actors were going over their lines and someone happened to hide a recorder in the room.

Game of Thrones video game pitbull


Game of Thrones is not a “pretty” game. In fact, Game of Thrones looks much like something you would expect from a previous generation system. It definitely doesn’t look like a game some fine folks spent seven years working on. You think I’m being unfair and that’s fine but Game of Thrones is built on the third iteration of the Unreal Engine which has been kicking it since the first Gears of War.

There have been a lot of games, a lot older than this title, that look a heck of a lot better.

Can someone please tell me why the dog is shiny? Cause he is and he shouldn’t be.

And then there’s this:

Invisible shield holders are the best shield holders. Stealthy like a ninja.

Come on, guys! That’s just lazy!

Cutscenes. Load screens. Rinse and Repeat.

At least these didn’t look too bad but there were just so many. Lots and lots.

It reminds me of the Uncharted series–of which I’m not a fan. Both Game of Thrones and the Uncharted games have a story to tell and they’re pretty good stories but they seem to like the idea of a game when they’re really aspiring to create a movie.

Can’t we find a happy place between a load screen every time I enter or exit a building–I’m looking at you, Bethesda–and no load screens? I’m FINE with a game getting all cozy with my 360’s hard drive if all that digital lovin’ ends up with transitions that aren’t so damn ponderous. I was already having issues with Game of Thrones before the plethora of load screens and once I hit the tenth I started getting very, very bored.


The game narrates the journey of two characters: Mors Westford, a veteran ranger of the Night’s Watch, and Alester Sarwyck, a red-robed priest of R’hllor who returns home after a 15-year absence following the death of his father and becomes instantly embroiled in the politics of court. The plot is set in parallel to, but does not overlap, the events of the novel A Game of Thrones.

I totally got that from Wikipedia. Why?

Because Game of Thrones was not fun. That’s right. I wanted fun. It’s a GAME. I love playing video games when they’re worth my time but I couldn’t get into the game enough to get to the story.

Final Verdict

This game was such a disappointment it turned me off of reading the books and made me not want to watch the show.

Shouldn’t a game, based on a book, inspire you to read the book? It sure shouldn’t make you want to run the other way.

I was expecting this

game of throne winter is coming gif

and this

amazed gif

but knew I’d probably get this

It's OK gif

but, instead, I got

ellen thats pathetic gif

Atlus provided an Xbox 360 version of Game of Thrones for review and product links are affiliate.


  1. Scott D. Sullivan-Reinhart says:

    Narf poink?

  2.  @Scott D. Sullivan-Reinhart Yup. Exactly.

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