Just that title makes me sound like one of those crazy people who say they’re “cured” but they’re really not and then they go off and sleep with fifty people or something until they come down from the mania and then they don’t take a shower for a month.
So apparently there are a million-billion crazy people in Huntsville because I’ve gone through 200 providers and have found very few folks who are taking new patients. OK. That’s not completely true. There’s a whole cadre of docs I’m excluding due to where they work.
The first group works where my old shrink works. That office owes us almost $150. They’ve owed us almost $150 for the past seven months. Not dealing with them again. Ever.
Then there’s this other big group at the county mental health clinic.
When I was in college and was first diagnosed with ADD, I went to the county heath crazy clinic. Holy fucking shit if that wasn’t scary. [Why I Will Never Go To Another Public Mental Health Clinic] So, you see, I’ve cut the pool of shrinks down by 2/3 but a crazy girl has to have standards, people!
After all this trouble finding someone who can prescribe more medication, I’ve finally just decided to stop.
Not cold turkey or any of that nonsense.
Especially since one of the things I take is an anticonvulsant and stopping the medication too quickly could throw me into seizures–even though I have no history of seizures. I have a sneaking suspicion they’re not nearly as much fun as they sound.
The Strattera–for the ADD–doesn’t seem to be helping and it seems pointless to keep upping the dosage. Will it help if we bump it up more? Would another drug work better? I lived 20-something years and took nothing. I didn’t suck too bad before Strattera. I don’t think.
If I did suck, no one tell me, OK?
The Lamictal–for the Cyclothymia–is probably the best thing for me to take and though it’s prescribed off-label, Lamictal has a fantabulous track record in treating Bipolar II and Cyclothymia. But I’m still cycling. Even increasing the dosage isn’t helping. So I’m back to the questions I have with Strattera.
How much do I need to increase this before it works?
What if it doesn’t?
See, the difference between some other crazy person and me is I realize I’m not cured. I realize this isn’t something I’m going to get better from. While I’m not making it up, this is literally in my head so I’m stuck with it. I suppose the long and short of it is I know quitting ain’t going to change anything.
Yeah. Quitting meds. Still crazy. This should be all kinds of fun.