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Nocturnal Companion: The Devil’s Handmaiden

Filed Under: Gifs, Life
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Black Widow in AlabamaThe night was most agreeable save for the cacophony of wings from armored bugs which did not realize their time was almost at an end based on the month for which they are named.

Taking refuge in the garage, I was greeted by the most massive black and scarlet arachnid my eyes have ever had the misfortune to gaze upon.

I implored my husband to fetch me a shoe so that I might dispatch with the Devil’s handmaiden and since my fine husband was already present, might he be chivalrous and do the deed himself?

Nay! My husband wanted to remember the sanguinolent beast for all times.

What occurred next, you may wonder?

The dear man’s head collided with the whore’s web of torture and the succubus disappeared into the ether.

Now, after many minutes of reflection, I am convinced the demoness watches my every move. She bides her time content in the knowledge I will eventually become less vigilant and allow myself to be lulled into a sense of safety by the good book I have before me.

I continue to remonstrate my consciousness. I must continue to stay vigilant. One moment of idle thought and the beldame will be upon me.

Ever vigilant…

Doctor Who watching you gif

  • PsychoChick966

    Amy, have a got a pic to share with you! This was what was on my laundry room wall on Monday. ….and yes, it IS that big that you can see light being refracted off of one of it’s EYEBALLS! …and that is a lightswitch to the lower-right for some scale.

    • http://about.me/amytucker Amy Tucker

      First off, why did you put an octopus on your laundry room wall?

      Also?

    • PsychoChick966

      Lol, right?! I have never seen a creature like it before in my entire life….and I wish to hell I could tell you I definitely sucked it up in my vacuum cleaner, but it got dicey, and I can’t be sure it didn’t escape into a space between the wall and the floor (unfinished room). I have been referring to it as an octopussian arachnid alien (go ahead, laugh). If I see this again, I may have a bonafide heart attack.