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Wherein I Beat On Tucker and Had a Painful, Bad Day

Filed Under: Gifs, Life
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After getting surgeried, I took my pain meds like a good surgeried person. As one does. Unfortunately, the first prescription wasn’t enough and I had to call and get more. 

Tobuscus Please Don't Hurt Me I'm Weak gif

I was quite disappointed in myself. 

The pain’s gotten a lot better (It was mostly a gross ache, anyway.), I quit taking the meds and even had some leftover.

That’s a good thing. I’m getting to that. 

Missed the point gif

Last night I dreamed some weird things. 

In one, I had a deep conversation with some Russian dude about his feelings on Putin and what’s going on in Crimea.[1] In another, I was bouncing with a racoon on lime Jell-O. Figure THAT one out, will you? 

The one that has to do with the pain in my hand and the state of today involved Tucker, bugs and me whacking the shit out of him. 

Multiple times.

sorry about that gif

It was about 2AM and I was in that weird awake-not awake place.

After I beat on Tucker, I found out he had been awake “looking at the news” because he couldn’t sleep. I’m positive he wasn’t actually looking at Fail Blog.[2]

Maybe his news reading roused me a bit? 

So I’m in awake-not awake land and dreaming about spiders and bugs and in the kinda-dream, I looked over at Tucker and dude was COVERED with various creepy crawlies.

And what does one do when your beloved spouse is COVERED with various creepy crawlies?

You beat the everloving shit out of them.

That's sort of something you should know.

So I did.

Oddly enough, Tucker didn’t seem too put out by the pummeling. He’s a nice boy, sometimes. 

But I didn’t have anything over my sutures and since my primary hand is my surgeried hand, that was the one I used to whack Tucker.

Multiple times. 

That was a very stupid owie mistake.

Oh gurl gif

Needless to say (but I’m gonna), Tucker had to cover my sutures and get me a pain pill.

It was ~2:30AM by that point; I didn’t dream after that.

I also didn’t realize all of the alarms on my phone (other than the LEAVE NOW!!! alarm) had been turned off. I woke up at 7:20…which is when Ollie has to be checked into pre-k. 

Damn

I didn’t have time to make the kids’ lunches and breakfast was served courtesy of the school. Pancakes and sausage, in case you were wondering. 

Lessons learned:

  1. Make sure ALL of my alarms are good to go the night prior to when I have to get up.
  2. Make lunch the night prior, too…though I tell myself that every night and, well, that’s working out GREAT.
  3. Surgeried hands make adequate weapons but the aftermath sucks ass.
  4. Don’t take opioids at ~2:30 in the morning when I’m supposed to get up at 6:30 that morning.
  5. Sleep on the couch. 

 
Lessons learned

  1. [1] Random podcast I just found concerning Crimea. I’m listening to it whilst I write this.
  2. [2] He NEVER does that. Nope. Never.

Comments

  1. Beating one’s spouse while asleep is in the vows. My wife told me so.

  2. Should I be laughing? I’m laughing.

  3. 7:20???? He has to be at school at 7:20??? I think that’s far worse than beating off the creepy-crawlies. 7:20 is EARLY and you’re a late-owl.

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