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Vote St. Louis so that I’ll only have a 4.5 hour drive next year with my pissed off husband, pissed off toddler and pissed off infant.

Click here to vote!

Here are the voting results in order from lowest number of votes to highest:

Omaha - 26

Las Vegas - 52

San Fransisco Bay Area - 71

Southern California - 92

Seattle - 108

Atlanta - 159

Austin - 162

Denver - 166

New York - 187

St. Louis - 216

Portland - 279

Philly - 291

We all understand the basic concept of a baby registry.  Right?

Pregnant women and adopting parents sign up at a store of their choosing for the items that they want.  Then friends and family carefully select the largest, least expensive item on the list.  [Biggest bang for your buck]

If for some reason you either can’t access the registry online, in the store, or you just don’t give a shit then you purchase a gift card - just make sure it’s obnoxiously cute.

Why is it that almost every woman that the media interviews concerning the elections always says, “I’m voting for Hillary because she’s a woman and I’m a woman and we need a woman president.”

WTF?

I really don’t understand this line of thinking.

Does that mean that if you’re black, you should automatically vote for Obama just because he’s black.

Isn’t that selling yourself a bit short?

What happened to voting for a candidate because you agreed with their foreign policy or their stance on border security and the economy?

Yesterday was not a fun day.

Midday sickness [cause I don’t get morning sickness] started around 11 am and lasted for the majority of the day.

Luckily, no puking is ever involved so I can completely cope.

When Tucker got home from work, we headed to Old Navy to check out the sale that they are having right now.

I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that I was going to be shopping in the maternity section. Tucker of course called me a dork and I practically skipped to the pregnant ladies’ clothes.

Dear YouTube,

I love you.

You have given my daughter, my husband, and me hours and hours of enjoyment.

But, I’m pretty pissed off at you right now.

The League of Maternal Justice posted a breastfeeding montage on your site in response to Facebook banning a picture of a woman breastfeeding her child.

It was a nice video. No bare boobs, nothing offensive.

For some reason, you’ve banned our video. I say “our” because my daughter and I were in the video. No warning, no reason. You just banned it.

Last week I had my IQ tested and this week I found out the results.

While I have a high IQ, my “short term memory” score was startling low. Like almost below-average low.

My shrink told me that a score that low, when compared to my high scores on the other subtests, would lead her to diagnose me with ADD.

Vindication!

Let me explain.

When I was a wee lass, I can remember complaining to my mom that I thought that I might have ADD. A cousin of mine had recently been diagnosed as such and I could see parallels between his behavior and my own.

One thing that every new blogger learns is that a blog must have a “focus”.

The idea is that, in order to build a readership, you must be an expert in something and only write about that something.

All you have to do is check out my Categories to realize that I don’t do focus.

I don’t want to be tied down by it; focus seem constrictive.

Sure I’m a mom and I write about my [amazing] daughter, but, does that mean that I have to be a “mommy blogger” and only write about my [amazing] kid?

This is my first foray into the world of “beauty secrets”.

Today’s installment is a simple, tried and true edition.

Olive Oil.

I know you’re thinking, what?! Olive oil? What the hell am I supposed to do with olive oil other than cook with it?

I’ve got two things for you right off of the bat: hair conditioner and cuticle conditioner.

Wash your hair like you normally do. Once your lovely locks are squeaky clean, saturate your hair with warm olive oil. Let the stuff set for ten minutes and then wash out.

I was checking my email earlier and noticed that I had gotten our bill from Cingular [I mean AT&T.  They need to make up their freakin’ minds!]

Our bill was for $305.78.

That’s right.  Three hundred and five dollars and seventy-eight cents!

Since last months was almost $500, I was both relieved and shocked all at the same time.

I printed out our bill and went at it with my highlighter.  Before Cingular was bought by AT&T, our bill was always $59.00.  Always.

I noticed piddly $1.30 charges here and $.90 charges there.  I finally came upon a whopping $47.32 from Tucker calling his parents at 8:57 pm.

How many of you guys have tattoos? Come on, raise your hands.

Now, how many of you have a “name tattoo”? I won’t laugh, I promise.

Haven’t you heard that it’s bad juju to have someone’s name tattooed on you?

Think of this as a public service announcement of sorts.

My friend Alana recently got a tattoo of her hubby’s name on her ankle [Hi Alana!] and the husband of another friend got her name on his chest.

What happens if they get a divorce? (I don’t think that I’m being a pessimist…maybe a realist?)