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I got this email yesterday and I just had to pass it on.

I just received an email with a funny [and very true] list of breastfeeding “terms” with definitions; I had to share them here.

The Boob Lift – The unconscious lifting of your breasts to check which is fuller. It may be done at any time regardless of where you are or whom you’re talking to.

The Nursing Flip – The action of adjusting you and your baby to make ready for nursing. This means moving your T-shirt off your butt, doing the “boob lift”, putting the baby in the crook of your arm and unlatching your bra, all in about 15 seconds with no attention taken away from your previous task.

For some reason, “Capt. Coleman” finds me very trustworthy.

He’s willing to smuggle money out of Iraq to me if I’ll provide him with my bank and contact information.

You also have to love that “for security reasons” I’m supposed to reply to a different Hotmail [ ie unsecured] address.

So, without further ado, here’s another email from my Spam Vault.

Enjoy.

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your mail and for accepting my offer. I apologize for my late reply, it’s due to my duty here. Since your last email to me on the month of JUNE, I couldn’t reply back because my troops were camping at the road to the jordanian border, that makes it difficult for me to check my mail.

Cara had her nine month appointment yesterday; she has gained no weight since her six months appointment.

The nurse who weighed Cara and measured her seemed very concerned by this little fact.

But, I’m cool with it. She’s gotten longer and come on, she walking and has been for the past two weeks. Not to mention the fact that she had salmonella poisoning for over a week. This kid is burning serious calories!

Wen Cara was born, she weighed 8lbs 3 oz and was 19 inches long; she was short and plump. This is the first time that she hasn’t been around the 90th percentile for her weight.

I’ve been taking care of bisnass this morning, hence the tardy post.

I was checking my email a few minutes ago for a reply from a potential writing job person thingie. That email wasn’t in my in box, but this was:

Dear Friend,

I have been waiting for you since to come down here and pick your Bank Draft but did not heard from you since that time then I deposited the Draft with Shalom Daily Courier delivering company here in Benin Republic , because I travelling to Iraq to see my boss and i will not come back till next month end. You have to contact the diplomatic Shalom Daily Courier delivering company to know when they will deliver your package .I have paid for the delivering charges and insurance fee.