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Dear Mr. 50ish balding Hawaiian print shirt guy with the very loud wife in the pink miniskirt at the UPS Store at 1:17 pm today,

You truly amazed me (and it takes a lot to amaze me) . I was amazed at the fact that you waited until Saturday afternoon to send out your package and letter. I was also pretty amazed at how pissed you got when the lady behind the counter told you that your stuff wouldn’t go out until Monday and would probably be delivered on Thursday.

When Cara was around eight weeks or so, the Crazy family attended a birthday party for the daughter (I’ll call her Sara) of some friends of ours. The friends are young [because you know, I’m so ancient] and Tucker and I don’t always [pretty much never] agree with their parenting style. Being the amazingly tactful people we are, we would never tell them that…we just bitch to each other…often.

Back to the party.

When we arrived at the party, Sara was throwing a very impressive fit. One minute Sara was screaming at the top of her lung, the next she was throwing toys at the guests. Occasionally, Sara would fill her mouth with chips and then spit them at the wall.