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Last night my eyes were a bit swollen and I had snot running down to my top lip.  [I'm an ugly crier.]

I was watching the Pausch story on ABC and every time he came on the screen, I started crying again.

I must admit that I had never heard of the man until the story broke that he had died.  Even then, my reaction was one of indifference; people die everyday and I didn’t know him.

As a matter of fact, I was almost annoyed at all of the constant talk about Pausch and his “last lecture” because I just didn’t get what the big deal was.

Today is a study in ADD.

You have no idea what I’m talking about so I shall explain.

This morning my mom called and asked Cara and me to breakfast - Cracker Barrel.  [Give me a break, ok?  This is the South and it's a law that you must eat at Cracker Barrel at least once a week.]  We ate, we talked, we had a generally pleasant time.  Since I had an OB appointment today, Mom offered to keep Cara.

Sweet!

I have been relatively sane for a while now.

I attribute this temporary sanity to the fact that I’m pregnant and pregnancy seems to agree with my brain.

Sure, I’ve been a tad more angry than I normally would be but it’s not like I’m constantly pissed off [just on Fridays from now on].

But the crazy train pulled into the station today.

For the past few days I’ve been angrier than normal and extra-emotional.  Then, this morning at the ass crack of dawn, our new next door neighbors woke Cara up with their alcohol assisted noise.  It was 3am, they were outside and I could hear every word of their conversation via Cara’s baby monitor.  She heard them too and was up from 3am till sometime around 5am.

Last week I had my IQ tested and this week I found out the results.

While I have a high IQ, my “short term memory” score was startling low. Like almost below-average low.

My shrink told me that a score that low, when compared to my high scores on the other subtests, would lead her to diagnose me with ADD.

Vindication!

Let me explain.

When I was a wee lass, I can remember complaining to my mom that I thought that I might have ADD. A cousin of mine had recently been diagnosed as such and I could see parallels between his behavior and my own.

I got “homework” from my shrink [Hi, Dr. Fox!] yesterday.

Can you believe that? Homework!

Not to make a long story too long, but my task is to compose a list of thing that are true for me.

A list of things that are constant no matter what anyone says.

Let me explain.

You see, I have this problem where I take just about everything that anyone says to heart.

Here’s a scenario for you:

You just got your hair cut and colored. You know that you look H O T.

I live my life based on a bastardized form of Karma.

A self-serving version really.

I try not to do mean/bad things to people with the hope that they will reciprocate.

Maybe that’s a crap reason to be nice, but hey, if it keeps me from being a heinous bitch then I figure it can’t be all bad.

So, when I’m confronted with a situation where I have to be the “bad guy” I cringe.

I’ve wanted to write about my upstairs “neighbors” for a while, but I have had this irrational fear that they would find my site. [Hi neighbors!]