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If you’re married, you know that most of the best conversations occur while you’re in bed with your beloved spouse.  [Feel free to insert any adjective in place of beloved.]  Our anal bleaching conversation is a prime example.

This morning brought more wonderful talk and I’m writing it RIGHT AFTER it occurred so that Tucker can’t say that I made anything up.

[This all occurred right before we got up for the morning.  We had been awake for maybe five minutes.]

Tucker - Wanna touch my penis?

Me - Um, no.

Tucker - But it’s perfect hand sized.

Last night my eyes were a bit swollen and I had snot running down to my top lip.  [I'm an ugly crier.]

I was watching the Pausch story on ABC and every time he came on the screen, I started crying again.

I must admit that I had never heard of the man until the story broke that he had died.  Even then, my reaction was one of indifference; people die everyday and I didn’t know him.

As a matter of fact, I was almost annoyed at all of the constant talk about Pausch and his “last lecture” because I just didn’t get what the big deal was.

Tucker got home from school yesterday and we were discussing our days.

His was spent trying to strong-arm his way into a finance class and mine was spent solving site issues and chasing Cara.

What I found particularly special was the fact that my entire day was summarized into about five minutes worth of talk while the actual day had felt BIG and BUSY and STRESSFUL.  There’s nothing like that “How was your day” talk to make your day feel small.

We had to go get groceries today.

We were to that point where you start being “creative” when making dinner and Rice-A-Roni becomes the main course. [Don’t judge! You know you’ve been there.]

As we meandered around Target, Cara was being a rock star and she was completely engrossed by a box of Pop Tarts.

I was struck by how far she’s come in a year.

Trips to Target in the early months were things to be dreaded.

I would carry her around in the sling that Tucker had made us and pray that she could wait thirty minutes before her next feeding.

Tucker had a very an interesting proposal for me last night.

Tucker - Why don’t I get a part-time job?

Me - What? (because, like always, I really wasn’t listening to him)

Tucker - I think I’m going to get a part-time job. I’m not taking any classes this semester and I really need something to do. Plus, this would be a great way for us to sock away money for when we move back to Arkansas.

We were in bed last night talking about how I have never been to a spa.

Perfectly innocent, right?

Somehow that innocent subject quickly devolved into Tucker talking about anal bleaching. You read that correctly. Anal bleaching. [Can you imagine the hits I’m going to have from Google from this one?]

The conversation went something like this:

Me: I’d really like to go just to get my eyebrows and legs waxed…maybe a massage.

Tucker: You know, they bleach stuff too.

Me: Why would I want to get something bleached?

Tucker: You could get your butt bleached.

It started out innocently enough.

Tucker - I think next pay period I’m going to go get a pair of rabbit ears.

Me - Ok (Because I wasn’t really listening to him).

Tucker - You know, that way we can test out not having cable.

Me - Yeah. That’s coo…WAIT. What?!

That’s right folks. No cable. No CNN, no BBC, no MSNBC, no History Channel, no A&E. Do I really need to go on?