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This was me at around 15:30 today.  I was not happy.  Can you tell?

I used to look like this:

I liked this hair cut.  It made me feel pretty and thin and like I looked LIKE A FUCKING GIRL.

I’ll try and keep the story short.

I got my hair cut like a month and a half ago like it is in the second picture.  I liked it; I liked the chick who cut it.  But, my mom convinced me that I should try the chick who cuts Mom’s hair.  “You’ll LOVE her.”

Am I a sellout or “money grubbing whore” because I run adds on my site?

WIkipedia defines sellout like this:

“Selling out refers to the compromising of one’s integrity, morality and principles in exchange for money, ’success’ or other personal gain. It is commonly associated with attempts to increase mass appeal or acceptability to mainstream society. A person who does this, as opposed to following the original path s/he laid (or claimed to lay) out for him/herself, is labeled a sellout and regarded with disgust and immediate loss of respect. Selling out is seen as gaining success at the cost of credibility.”

I try telling myself that I’m not constantly pissed off this pregnancy, but alas, that’s a big fat lie. Something about this fetus makes me ready to go at the drop of a hat. [Don't fuck with me; I'll cut ya.]

Hence the post about the baby shower and hence this post.

We went to Target yesterday for something supremely important [I've forgotten what it was.] and of course I had to pee because I have to pee every fifteen minutes or so. [This post talks a lot about pee and bathrooms...you've been warned.]

We all understand the basic concept of a baby registry.  Right?

Pregnant women and adopting parents sign up at a store of their choosing for the items that they want.  Then friends and family carefully select the largest, least expensive item on the list.  [Biggest bang for your buck]

If for some reason you either can’t access the registry online, in the store, or you just don’t give a shit then you purchase a gift card - just make sure it’s obnoxiously cute.

This is a chigger.

I have not named him/her because I wish it dead.

We went to the river this weekend to celebrate the 4th and had a purty darn good time.

Back to the chiggers.

Do you Northern people have chiggers?  I Twittered my disdain for the little arthropods and some people didn’t know what I was talking about.  Said people must not have ever visited Arkansas.

The itching started Saturday night when Tucker pulled a couple of seed ticks off of me.  I figured I was just itching due to the general ickiness of having been a tick’s dinner but before long I was covered with angry red bumps.  They look like hives but weep.  How’s that for gross?

Why is it that almost every woman that the media interviews concerning the elections always says, “I’m voting for Hillary because she’s a woman and I’m a woman and we need a woman president.”

WTF?

I really don’t understand this line of thinking.

Does that mean that if you’re black, you should automatically vote for Obama just because he’s black.

Isn’t that selling yourself a bit short?

What happened to voting for a candidate because you agreed with their foreign policy or their stance on border security and the economy?

I feel the need to defend myself about this post.

I didn’t write it as any sort of New Year’s resolution. I know from personal experience that New Year’s resolutions don’t work. In fact, 63% fail with in two month.

Mine always have failed and since all of my “acceptable” excuses for over-eating were past me, [i.e. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas] I was finally ready to quit being a quitter [you know what I mean] and to finally change small things that would eventually lead to big payoffs.

However, I’m going to have to put all of that on hold…at least for nine months.

What’s wrong with me today, guys?

I have been nothing but an evil bitch all day.

I’m sure part of it is due to the horrible traffic and the fact that the weather won’t decide what it’s doing; one day it’s 80 and the next it’s in the 40s. Is it too much to ask for a month of similar weather?!

One thing that I hate about Christmas is the shopping.

I sincerely feel a little bit bad, but I called the cops on my neighbors this morning at 12:45.

OK. So maybe not the cops; I called the “community officer”.

But, he’s a cop who gets to live here for free since he deals with petty bullshit calls like mine.

Luckily, he didn’t come knocking on my door since I had finally managed to drift off to sleep.

Back to the neighbors.

I woke up at 12:30 am for no good reason; I was just wide awake.

Dear YouTube,

I love you.

You have given my daughter, my husband, and me hours and hours of enjoyment.

But, I’m pretty pissed off at you right now.

The League of Maternal Justice posted a breastfeeding montage on your site in response to Facebook banning a picture of a woman breastfeeding her child.

It was a nice video. No bare boobs, nothing offensive.

For some reason, you’ve banned our video. I say “our” because my daughter and I were in the video. No warning, no reason. You just banned it.