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This was me at around 15:30 today.  I was not happy.  Can you tell?

I used to look like this:

I liked this hair cut.  It made me feel pretty and thin and like I looked LIKE A FUCKING GIRL.

I’ll try and keep the story short.

I got my hair cut like a month and a half ago like it is in the second picture.  I liked it; I liked the chick who cut it.  But, my mom convinced me that I should try the chick who cuts Mom’s hair.  “You’ll LOVE her.”

Blah.

Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like an absolute asshole.

I woke up at 3:45 because of an extremely screwed up nightmare involving my ex-stepfather’s house [again] and a very creepy ghost cloud thing.  It took me until 5 am to calm down enough to go back to sleep.

I managed to forget my OB appointment that was scheduled for Monday and had to reschedule the thing for Tuesday at 9:45.  That meant that we all had to get up in time to drop Cara off at Mom’s and then book it to the doctor’s office. Once we were done at the OB’s office, we had to haul ass home so that I could call in for an interview deal with these people:

Why is it that almost every woman that the media interviews concerning the elections always says, “I’m voting for Hillary because she’s a woman and I’m a woman and we need a woman president.”

WTF?

I really don’t understand this line of thinking.

Does that mean that if you’re black, you should automatically vote for Obama just because he’s black.

Isn’t that selling yourself a bit short?

What happened to voting for a candidate because you agreed with their foreign policy or their stance on border security and the economy?

What’s wrong with me today, guys?

I have been nothing but an evil bitch all day.

I’m sure part of it is due to the horrible traffic and the fact that the weather won’t decide what it’s doing; one day it’s 80 and the next it’s in the 40s. Is it too much to ask for a month of similar weather?!

One thing that I hate about Christmas is the shopping.

I was at Starbuck’s yesterday getting my Pumpkin Spice Latte with no whip and no sprinkles. [OH SO TASTY!]

For some reason I had cash and paid the chick with a ten. She handed me back the change in all ones. Not a big deal. Having a wad of ones makes me feel like I have more money than I really do. [I’m a dork. I embrace this fact]

Of course, she handed me the ones going in every direction known to man. That bugs the shit out of me. All of the bills should be turned in the same direction. Bills laid out all willy-nilly are the stepping stones to anarchy. What’s next? Martial Law?!

For some reason, “Capt. Coleman” finds me very trustworthy.

He’s willing to smuggle money out of Iraq to me if I’ll provide him with my bank and contact information.

You also have to love that “for security reasons” I’m supposed to reply to a different Hotmail [ ie unsecured] address.

So, without further ado, here’s another email from my Spam Vault.

Enjoy.

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your mail and for accepting my offer. I apologize for my late reply, it’s due to my duty here. Since your last email to me on the month of JUNE, I couldn’t reply back because my troops were camping at the road to the jordanian border, that makes it difficult for me to check my mail.

We just got back from the store and I’m a bit scared.

These hoochies on the left have taken over an isle and a half in the toy section at Target!

They’re like Barbie but ghetto fabulous and they look like little plastic sluts.

Am I the only one who is uncomfortable with this?!

They are in cartoons and music videos, coloring books, a MOVIE…I even saw a Halloween “costume“. I put costume in quotes since there wasn’t much to the costume and it was for a two year old!

What the hell?

How many of you guys have tattoos? Come on, raise your hands.

Now, how many of you have a “name tattoo”? I won’t laugh, I promise.

Haven’t you heard that it’s bad juju to have someone’s name tattooed on you?

Think of this as a public service announcement of sorts.

My friend Alana recently got a tattoo of her hubby’s name on her ankle [Hi Alana!] and the husband of another friend got her name on his chest.

What happens if they get a divorce? (I don’t think that I’m being a pessimist…maybe a realist?)

You know that old saying, “sweating like a pig”?

Well, oink.

Since 6 am, I have washed three loads of laundry, folded one load, run two loads of dishes, vacuumed the living room, washed the sliding glass doors, taken out the trash and cleaned the kitchen.

I’m tired now.

I’m really not sure what’s gotten into me, but I’m not complaining. Being productive is fun!

Now you know that I couldn’t write something without throwing a bit of bitching in. Ready? Good.

I had it out with UPS today.

I’ve been taking care of bisnass this morning, hence the tardy post.

I was checking my email a few minutes ago for a reply from a potential writing job person thingie. That email wasn’t in my in box, but this was:

Dear Friend,

I have been waiting for you since to come down here and pick your Bank Draft but did not heard from you since that time then I deposited the Draft with Shalom Daily Courier delivering company here in Benin Republic , because I travelling to Iraq to see my boss and i will not come back till next month end. You have to contact the diplomatic Shalom Daily Courier delivering company to know when they will deliver your package .I have paid for the delivering charges and insurance fee.