You gotta admit it’s catchy. 

That’s right, folks.  I made it to this weekend.  My cervix rocks!

Well…in all honesty I thought that I was going to be holding a screaming ball of baby boy this morning but the contractions slowed down and went away.

At one point the stupid things were four minutes apart.  Granted they were never so painful that I couldn’t do something while I was having one but they were annoying nonetheless.

I guess they spooked Tucker cause he finally rearranged our room so that the pack-n-play could easily fit.  I was wondering when he’d decide to do that.

Anyway, back to the trip.

Sophie’s got her doggie doctor appointment today at 9am.  Mom’s coming over to watch Cara while we’re gone so I don’t have to worry about 65lbs of stupid pitbull and 26lbs of crazy toddler at the same time.

I just realized about ten minutes ago that I’m gonna have an entire weekend without the Internet.

I’ll survive…right?!  [I'm joking, I think.]

Once we get to Memphis we’re heading to BabysRUs so that I can FINALLY get a new Boppy and Cara can pick out her potty chair.  After that, it’s anyone’s guess what we’ll be doing.  I predict LOTS of cable TV watching and LOTS of pool time.

I shall miss you all but now I must pack.

Cara LOVES yogurt.  Not just a little bit.  Cara loves yogurt like a junky loves his next fix.

She’s become just a tad bit independent in her old age and has started insisting that she feed herself the yogurt.  Since she was eating the adult Yoplait that I eat, the stuff would always end up more ON her than IN her and it would take like 30 minutes for her to eat that tiny container of sticky goodness.

I finally resorted to mixing the yogurt with milk and making a bastardized version of a smoothie.  [yogurt + milk + sippy cup + shake like hell = smoothie.]

The only problem with this was that the fruit pieces would get stuck in the valve of her cups and clog it up and then Cara would get pissed and chuck the cup at the dog and that’s just not very nice.

Oh, good lord…I’m rambling.

I’m supposed to be reviewing Yoplait Kids for Parent Bloggers Network.  Must focus.

To put it simply, the things that I don’t like about adult Yoplait I like about Yoplait Kids.

The texture is thicker than the adult version and the yogurt isn’t as sweet.  Tucker didn’t particularly enjoy the taste, but Cara couldn’t tell a difference and that’s what really matters.

There aren’t fruit chunks in Yoplait Kids so you don’t have to worry about your tot choking or worry about the fruit clogging up any valves and such.

I got the Mixed Berry Smoothies for Cara and since she drank them too quickly, I “diluted” one in her cup with some milk and she liked it just fine.  No clogged valves.

My only complaint with Yoplait Kids are the cartoon characters and specifically Dora [because she's SATAN] but I realize that Yoplait isn’t marketing to me; they’re marketing to my kid.  And, I figure if my only complaint is about what’s on the OUTSIDE of the container and not what’s on the INSIDE then Yoplait did a pretty good job.

A little side note here - Parent Bloggers sent me a butt load of coupons that I was going to give away but Tucker threw the coupons away.  Yeah…like $8 worth of coupons in the trash and I didn’t find out about it until like three days past trash day.  [Thanks, Tucker.]

I also had this cool Yoplait cooler and flash card combo that I was going to give away.  BUT, guess what?  Tucker already gave them away.  [I'm hiding my giveaway stuff from now on.]

And one other thing.  While I might not be able to give you free coupons, Yoplait will if you go here. [$1.50 off!]

Just had to get that out there.

There is this woman at the front desk of my OB’s office who apparently doesn’t know the meaning of work appropriate clothing.

Last week, she had on a “party shirt” like what I used to wear in college.  Her very perky boobs were right under her chin and the neckline was ridiculously low.  I could literally see half of her boobs.

I assumed that she was one of the doctors’ wives and chocked it up to her “helping” at the office.  That’s cool…just cover those things up!

This week she had a shirt on over her cami but the over shirt was unbuttoned and half hanging off of her shoulder…and her bra was showing.  I don’t mean her bra strap.  [Who hasn't had that happen to them?]  I’m talking about her entire CUP showing.

We walked into the office.  I walked up to the counter.  I saw her left D cup and couldn’t quit looking at it while I gave my doc’s name and my appointment time.

It’s like the things had a tractor beam and they were sucking my eyes in!

Wow…I talked about her boobs for a long time.  It’s not my fault!  They have special powers!

Since I know you love reading about the state of my cervix I figured I’d give you an update.

I’m sitting at 2cm right now.  I’m not at my “due date” yet so I’m not too worried.  My OB brought up the fact that we had discussed scheduling a c-section for some arbitrary date in the future.

OB - “Have you thought anything about a particular day?”

Me - “September 26th.  It’s a Friday and I’ll be 42wks and 1day.”

[Insert dumbfounded doctor here.]

OB - “Um…well…let me go make sure that I’M available on that day.  Get dressed and I’ll be right back.”

After about ten minutes, my OB came back and informed me that the 26th is a GREAT[!!] day for him since he’s on call and scheduled for surgeries that day.  SO, if I don’t crap this kid out by the 26th then I’ll be having him at noon on said day.

[Even though my OB says "GREAT!!!" way too much, I really loved him today since he didn't try to talk me into an early section.  My doctor RAWKS my socks right now.]

I have to add here though that I almost had a panic attack scheduling that stupid ass surgery.  I can’t put my finger on it but for some reason it makes me feel like an absolute and total failure.  Just the thought that I won’t go into spontaneous labor and that I’ll have to have a section makes me rather annoyed and depressed.

Tucker and I talked about it for a while and I know intellectually that if this child hasn’t been born by 42wks and 1 day then he needs to be born very soon regardless of his method of birth.  I know this…really I do.

I also know that all that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mother.  I know.  I know!

But, I can’t help remembering The Business of Being Born at the very end when the director, Abby Epstein, says [paraphrasing since I can't find the quote] that she felt like she had been hit by a car and when she woke up, someone handed her a baby.  I bawled my eyes out when she said that.

Something was missing for me when I had my c-section.  Something that I can’t put my finger on and I can’t wrap my head around.  If you think I’m crazy for being “stuck” on this VBAC thing, you’re not alone.  Sometimes I think I’m a bit nutty too.  [Hell...look at my site's name.]  But, I’m still holding out hope that I’ll get my VBAC.  I’m still holding out hope that Oliver will come before the 26th at noon and that I’ll get the birth that I missed with Cara.

I’m holding out for an ideal that I hope is at least partially attainable.

Just a Swingin'

First Official "Fake" Smile

Actually, these are from yesterday but they’re new to you.

We had to go and get our infant carrier from Tucker’s parents’ house and Tucker decided to wash the SUV and vacuum it out since we have apparently acquired a family of ants.

Anyway, since Tucker doesn’t believe in child labor laws, he put poor Cara to work.

He should be ashamed of himself.

I’m not quite sure where the rest of her is located but I do know that she’s having a very bad day.

My doc got to meet my vagina which is always a fun experience and I must say that he has to be the most efficient “checker” I’ve ever met.  [The whole thing lasted less than 15 seconds.]

Apparently I’m 1-2 cm dilated but Oliver’s head is still floating around a bit.  BUT, he is in the “head down” position which makes life much easier on everyone involved.

Come next week, Mr. OB and I will have a heart-to-heart on when to schedule my section if I don’t go into spontaneous labor.  Since I’m going the VBAC route, induction isn’t an option other than amniotomy.  And, since my OB doesn’t want to run into a situation where I’m still prego at 43 weeks, he has to make sure that he has an OR booked in case things don’t go the way that I have them planned.

—

Now, to clear up something.

I’ve bitched ad nauseum about my desire for this child to be born AFTER the 7th of September because of our psuedo vacation plans.

Since I’ve never come right out and said this, I shall say it now.

If Oliver decides to be born today and it means that I avoid an unwanted surgery then I’m all for it.  The point is to have a healthy kid and mom at the end of all of this bullshit.  But, I totally reserve the right to be mildly annoyed at my lack of pseudo vacation.

Sweet!

Tucker and I discussed the whole toilet training thing and poo-pooed the idea of introducing it before Oliver is born.  We figured that the second she saw a new baby in diapers then she’d be all like, “What about my diaper?  I wanna wear a diaper again.  Toilet training?  Never heard of it.  Now, back to the issue of me not having a diaper on my ass.”  [But she wouldn't say ass...I added that for effect.]

But, we did agree that when we go to Millington next weekend, we’ll head to Babysrus, pick a couple of “Amy and Tucker approved” potty chairs and then let Cara make her grand choice.

Well, I spent thirty minutes in the bathroom with Cara yesterday because she grabbed my finger and started saying, “pee pee”.

No pee pee was ever found and lots of playing with the toilet and toilet paper ensued.  But from what I’ve read, this is a step in the “pee pee on the potty” direction.

This should be a crazy ride: a toddler dead set on toilet training NOW and a newborn.

Bring it on.

Henry the Sinaloan Milk Snake