Post Partum Induced Rant

Filed Under: Life

After a fairly positive post, I feel the need to balance it out by writing something that I bitch to Tucker about frequently…the concept of a “good baby”.

With Cara, I got a lot of sympathy from friends and family because Cara was such a “hard” child.  No one ever called her “bad” but I definitely never heard, “Oh, what a GOOD baby…”

The questions started the day she was born: How does she sleep?  Is she a good baby?

For some reason, the majority of people link the goodness of a newborn with the amount that they sleep and that makes no freakin’ sense.

By that reasoning, Cara is the spawn of Satan and Oliver is Christ reborn.  I’m doubting both assumptions.

Maybe I’m being hypersensitive/protective of Cara since people keep saying what a “good” baby Oliver is since he sleeps all of the time.  Maybe he’s just a lazy bum.  Has anyone thought of that?  [Ok…not really because of course he’s an angelic child who is a genius.]

Maybe I just have issues with the idea that a newborn could be anything other than good.  They were just born!

When the hell did they have a chance to become corrupt?

So, when people ask me if Oliver is a “good baby” I say, “of course…he’s a baby”.

What I wish I could say is that he has a pitchfork hidden in his diaper and that he speaks Latin in his sleep.

For some reason I don’t think that most people would think that’s very funny.

And another thing.

Don’t offer to keep the one week old exclusively breastfed baby.  I don’t need a “break” or some “time alone”.  I need my newborn on my boob and people to quit trying to give me a break.  My hormones don’t appreciate the offer even if my brain knows that you’re only trying to help.

Also, I’m not going to pump just so that you can attempt to bottle feed said newborn and possibly screw up the tenuous breastfeeding relationship that we’ve established.

*If you’re reading this then that last part was not directed at you.  The person/people it’s directed at don’t use computers.*