The Parent-Teacher Conference

Filed Under: Life

Today has been an enlightening day.

After my post about Cara’s anxiety over school, I was ready to get her school stuff sorted out and get on with life.

Tucker was home today so we had plenty of time to discuss what we wanted to talk about with Cara’s teacher.

Looking back on my post, I worry it was too emotional; I considered deleting it. Before writing this, I went back and read the post again and I’m not going to delete it. Y’all left so many awesome comments and showed such support for me when I was obviously in need. Seeing my kid in such emotional pain hurt me like I didn’t realize was possible and some of you guys have obviously been hurt in a similar way.

Cara is doing ahead of where she needs to be on reading. She’s having issues starting and completing tasks on time–though Cara’s teacher was quick to point out that’s very common at this age. Her writing isn’t where it needs to be. We’ll work on that.

Then Cara’s teacher brought up “nap time.”

Tucker and I just looked at each other and smiled.

Talking with an adult who has daily experiences with your child is SO DIFFERENT than talking with your child.

Yes, there has been some issues with nap times. Once Cara even took it upon herself to go to the bathroom during naptime–which is allowed–and then take a personal tour of the school’s halls–which isn’t allowed. Both Tucker and his dad pulled similar stunts when they were little so she comes by that honestly. Still not cool with the fact she thought she should do that and it’s been discussed.

I explained how much anxiety Cara has about the clips and Cara’s teacher was quick to admit she is new to this sort of discipline chart and she has to remind herself every day that the kids who are consistently good need the positive reinforcement, too.

Somehow our wires got crossed and Cara’s teacher didn’t realize–until today–that Cara has never had any experience like school before. Her teacher seemed shocked and I know–from our conversation–she will take that under advisement.

Cara’s teacher kept mentioning how much of a helper Cara is and her teacher has started giving Cara “helper” jobs and it warms my heart to know her teacher really does care and is doing things to help Cara continue to be good.

It’s so hard to hand your kid off to a stranger.

I feel much better about it now.

Cara’s teacher is going to move Cara’s nap place; hopefully that will help with Cara’s immediate concerns.

We’ve emphasized we will ALWAYS be proud of her and if her clip moves down then we’ll talk about it but that clip doesn’t mean she’s a bad person.

I’m going to start working with her again with her writing and cutting skills and we’ll keep up with the reading.

One of the things that’s going to be more difficult to work on is her attitude.

Cara acts like a small adult–one of the things her teacher says she loves and noticed right off about Cara–but has a problem realizing she has to do what adults tell her to do. This has spilled over to school and that’s probably going to be our biggest, long-term issue. I was the exact same way and now realize tone of voice was the main issue and I’ll work with Cara on that.

I don’t feel like a failure any longer: I feel like a mom who has a plan.

Plans are good. I can work toward a goal with a plan.