Obviously She Thought I Was Beating Our Son

Filed Under: Gifs, Life

I make a concerted effort to ensure I warn our kids about changes to a normal routine.

If we’re going to have to change the way something goes, I’m going to warn these two about the change so many times they end up rolling their eyes because I’ve warned them so many times.

We were going to Target after we picked up Cara and I warned Ollie MULTIPLE times we weren’t taking a snack with us because he would be getting one at Target. What did he do while we were sitting in the pick up line? Threw a huge fit because I hadn’t brought him a snack.

We picked up Cara and went to the gas station.

I told them both, “We’re not going to get any candy or anything to drink here because we’re going where?”

Them: “Target.”

Me: “Exactly.”

We were about five steps into the gas station when Ollie started screaming at the top of his lungs. He fell to his knees and continued screaming. Between screams he wailed he wanted candy and he wanted something to drink. Mind you, he had been 100% FINE outside of the store.

I got down to his level, looked him right in his eyes, and told him to button his lip and stop making a scene. I asked him to take a deep breath and calm down.

“I cannot!” he screamed.

I picked him up–and he was screaming “Ow!” the whole time I was holding him and making himself stiff as a board–and carried him to the bathroom.

I turned on the light, locked the door and smacked his bottom–THROUGH HIS PANTS, folks.

Of course he was still screaming and showing out but I explained to him why he had gotten a spanking. Our kids might get spanked occasionally, but they always receive an explanation as to why they received a spanking.  By this time he was sprawled–face down–on the bathroom floor and kicking his legs.

I tried to pick him up and he went stiff again–LOVE it when he pulls that crap–screaming “ow” and kicking at me. [For the record, Tucker just had to talk to Ollie last night about saying “Ow” when he wasn’t really hurt. Hell, Tucker even busted out the Boy Who Cried Wolf story.] I thought the bathroom would help minimize the amount of a scene he was going to make. I hadn’t counted on the bathroom echoing. Extra special, let me tell you.

I finally got him off the floor and was calming him down when I heard a knock at the door. I mentally flipped the door the bird and kept on calming Ollie down. He took a deep breath, apologized for throwing a fit, gave me a hug and I unlocked the door.

The store manager was on the other side.

The woman glared at me and ran her eyes up and down Ollie–who was sitting on my hip–and then over Cara and back to me. She put her hands on her hips and didn’t move; we were blocked in the bathroom.

“Is everything OK, ma’am?”

“Yeah. He’s four. He was throwing a fit. He’s calm now.”

“Well, I just had to make sure he wasn’t hurt.”

The woman had STILL not moved.

After spending I don’t know how many minutes stuck in a small, echoing bathroom with a screaming kid, I wasn’t exactly cordial.

“He’s fine. Obviously.”

The woman finally got out of our way but tailed us around the store. I don’t know if she was waiting on me to like slam him to the floor or hit him over the head with a bottle or what but her hands never came off her hips and she was always about ten feet away.

It scares me to think I could have opened the door to a Base cop.

Did I do anything wrong? No. Do I still worry about stuff like that? Of course.

It took a call to Tucker and then to my mom to calm me down and I’m still not as calm as I’d like to be.

It’s also taken me this long to realize why I was so damn mad after the whole thing was over.

I wasn’t embarrassed. I thought that was the problem. Nope.

It was the judgy look she had plastered to her face and her assumption I was beating my kid. That’s what I was reacting to and that’s what pissed me off.

I can only imagine how the whole thing looked–and sounded–to her but I was being a good parent. Not only did I not “give in” to him and just buy him some candy to shut him up, I removed us from the situation and we didn’t move on until he had calmed down and was behaving like a [somewhat] rational human being.

I feel very discombobulated right now.