Reading The Middle Place
That place where everyone knows you are an adult; you know you are an adult but you try to forget that fact.
You have a husband and child and your own new family yet you still need your parents’ approval.
I wonder if you ever transcend or grow out of the middle place.
Will there ever come a time when I won’t crave my parents’ approval and acceptance?
The more I contemplate life’s transitions, the more I’m struck by the permanence of it all.
When I was very young, I would pester my mom incessantly to watch me time and time again. As I grew older, I would strive for approval from Mom when it came to grades.
And boys.
And clothes.
And just about anything that you can think of.
Now that I have my own daughter, I can see that burgeoning need for approval.
When she scribbles with a crayon or does something that I ask of her, her eyes light up and she waits for a beat to see if I noticed.
I’m not sure if my constantly striving for my mother’s approval is normal, but, I know that it is common.
There is a distinction there somewhere.
One thing that all of this reflection has helped me to realize is that while striving for approval is a necessary evil, it can go too far.
My hope is that I can find a balance for myself and in turn, pass that onto my daughter.
