When Tucker takes his shower before work, I always hear him talking to himself.

He says he’s planning his day; I say he’s crazy. Pot, meet kettle.
This morning I was first to the shower though that’s not to say showering in the morning–or even everyday–is normal for me. By the time I get the kids fed and a cup of coffee in me, the email is beckoning to me and once that’s checked I have something else to jump into.
So when I jumped in the shower and usurped Tucker’s rightful first shower position, I got to thinking about the normal flow of the day and I was led to this: The Mothers’ Bill of Rights.
- You have the right to shower by yourself assuming your children are old enough to fend for themselves for fifteen minutes and/or an adult or child over the age of fourteen is available and willing to care for said younger children.
- You have the right to use the toilet with the door closed and be the only person in the bathroom.
- You have the right to completely finish one cup of coffee before being forced to break up a fight.
- You have the right to talk to someone on the telephone without having to tell your children to be quiet and/or walk to another room and barricade yourself inside.
- You have the right to watch something other than cartoons.
- You have the right to fix whatever you want for dinner and not hear complaints.
- You have the right to listen to what you want on the radio while driving.
- You have the right to not have to share whatever you’re drinking and/or eating.
- You have the right to sleep in your own bed with your significant other and only your significant other if that is what you wish.
- You have the right to get just enough sleep to start a new day and cross your finger that you can accomplish at least one of the things aforementioned.