Diapers and Coffee

Filed Under: Uncategorized

I woke this morning to one child who is sick and thinks it’s her job to be as whiny as is humanly possible and to another child who thinks it’s his job to ceaselessly taunt and poke the sick one.

This is not what I consider the start to a good day.

Thus far, I’ve made two omelets, gotten three cups of milk, wiped two butts and broken up five fights.

At this very moment, I’m sitting in the floor with my laptop in my…well…lap with my coffee next to me since it’s much easier to dive at a child when I’m on the floor instead of the couch. Also, the laptop has less distance to fall.

Actually, it’s pretty evident Cara is feeling better and the Motrin has finally done its job. I base this on the fact that she’s resumed talking and whining but not whining about the TV being too bright. Now she’s whining, “What am I going to do? What’s my job? Can I work your laptop? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?”

And now, as I type this, she’s sitting on my back…and bouncing…and Ollie is smacking me in the face with a clean diaper. I think he’s trying to tell me something.

And now, I’m sitting back up, on the floor, with the laptop on my legs and I’m watching Ollie run circles around me whilst holding multiple diapers and screeching with delight. How the HELL am I supposed to change his diaper when he’s running? Everyone knows the first rule of diaper changing is the diaper changie [I just made up a word.] has to be still.


This happened shortly afterward.