I Mention Blueberry Beer At the End of This

Svenneman
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THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN.

Svenneman

O M JAYSUS.

I’m pretty sure I have that out of my system. Probably.

It’s all over the news. All over Twitter. All over Skype. All over our house. Well…all up in our conversations cause Tucker’s a contractor and he drills for the Navy and we don’t know if he’ll be going to work on Monday and we know for sure he won’t be drilling if the shutdown happens and continues since there won’t be any money to pay him.[1]

Part of me is all dancy-dancy that he’ll be home and then I remember that whole bill thing and how we tend to get them and how we have to pay them and stuff. You know, if we want to keep a roof over our heads and stuff. It’s the small things like a place to live that always come back to bite ya.

We just got back from getting milk and bread and stuff and it’s HOT here–83°–and all we want to do is be still and for the kids to be still. TV is the obvious answer.

A trailer for some new ABC family show came on and this woman got called “ma’am” and she was all offended and threatened to beat the caller[?] up.

I looked over at Tucker and said: “Yeah, I did that exact same thing when that chick at Target called me ma’am. I know exactly what she’s going through.”

And Tucker gave me a Tucker look.

And then I said, “And by “I did that exact same thing” I mean I probably came home and blogged about it.”

AND I DID! I know I did! AND I USE AND TOO MUCH! I KNOW I DO!

And I don’t know why I put all that in caps even though my “inner voice me” really was hopping up and down and stomping her/its feet and stuff. Yeah. I went down that path. But you came with me so what does that say about you? Hmm?

And I signed something agreeing I wouldn’t, “[be] seen in public nude, with a controlled substance or intoxicated.” I totally should have asked questions about that part. When I first read it, I thought nude was actually RUDE cause I can’t read and thought “rude” was a rather slippery term that was way too open to interpretation but no! The word was/is NUDE. Which can also be slippery but that just isn’t a place I’m going right now. Or in public.

But now I’m reading that again and wondering if being nude is just a problem if I’m seen nude AND with a controlled substance or intoxicated? Can I be nude or with a controlled substance or intoxicated, while in public, as long as I’m not doing them ALL AT THE SAME TIME? I am pretty badass at multitasking but wow. I would deserve a medal–a bedazzled medal, please–for that level of multitasking.

Granted, I can’t say I’ve ever felt compelled to get all up in mah birthday suit in public ANYWAY but…yeah…one of the oddest things I’ve ever been asked to agree to. Even more strange than supporting Tucker in sickness and health and all that.

Strange with a capital weird and unlikely.

Damn.

I meant to make all of the sentences after the mental me sentence start with “and” and I forgot about it and it’s way too late to go back and change all of those sentences. If I had written that down then I wouldn’t have forgotten it but that’s almost, sorta a conundrum since I would be writing myself a note to remind myself to write something.

I just confused myself.

And Tucker bought me some blueberry beer. Expect Flickr and/or Twitpics later tonight. Maybe even YouTube video if you’re good.

  1. [1]I just reread this and realized this is a paragraph of a sentence and I shouldn’t be proud but I AM! Take that you English teachers! Givin’ it to The Man since way back.

By Amy @ Taste Like Crazy

I am a writer. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a gamer. I am riddled with ADD. Order changes daily.