I Might Have Ordered Too Many Seeds for My First Garden

Filed Under: Food and Drink, Garden

And by “might” I mean “most likely and probably closer to definitely.”

I’ve been waiting on my seeds to get here for a few days now and as each day passed, I got more and more excited about the PURPLE bell peppers–Who knew there even was such a thing?!–and the green and yellow striped tomatoes and the fire engine red runner beans. The purple carrots Tucker requested, the candy apple sweet little peppers I bought at Cara’s request and the tiny, sour cucumbers the size of quarters I bought on a whim.

Basically I was having a mental makeout session with this imagined garden of the future.

The reality:

TONS of seeds for the garden

I think I'm in over my head...and I need to take clearer pictures...minus my toes...

We are now the proud owners of 21 packs of seed–the rainbow swiss chard, peas and nasturtium aren’t pictured. The onions aren’t pictured either; I don’t have them yet. I bought one “bunch” of those dudes. Apparently a “bunch” is really A BUNCH since a “bunch” is five dozen plants. You just sit and think on that one. And I LOVE ME SOME ONIONS! But that’s a butt ton of onions.

I might puke. No. Really. I might be sick. It’s not the work that freaks me out..it’s the SHEER MAGNITUDE of what I’m undertaking. This is my first garden; I should have purchased a tomato plant, some lettuce and maybe something exotic like kale…you get the idea.

Instead, I have:

  • Black Cherry Tomato
  • Vorlon Tomato
  • Dr. Wyche’s Yellow Tomato
  • Green Zebra Tomato
  • Quadrato D’asti Rosso Pepper
  • Scarlet Runner Bean
  • Unwin’s Mix – Dhalia
  • Some sort of free flower pack thank you for buying so many seeds you have a panic attack pack
  • Cosmic Purple Carrot
  • Thyme
  • Sage – Broad Leaf
  • Basil – Dark Purple Opal
  • Quadrato D’ Asti Giallo Pepper
  • Melrose Pepper
  • Purple Beauty Pepper
  • Mexican Sour Gherkin Cucumber
  • Burgundy Okra
  • Rocky Top Lettuce Mix

That list took me a very, very, very long time. Like you don’t even know.

I started this before I started dinner, did some of it whilst cooking, stopped to eat, worked on it while I sat on the bathroom floor while the kids played in the bath, put it on hold to talk to Tucker, took the kids out of the bath and put clothes on them and put them to bed somewhere in there and then watched My Drunk Kitchen with Tucker and I just got done! Hopefully, you’re just as tired from reading that sentence as I am from making that list.

You’re welcome.

So. Many. Seeds.

I was sitting at the dining room table with the seed packets all over the table and Cara was “helping” me “sort” the packets which really means she kept picking them up while I was trying to figure out just how soon I needed to get some of these guys started.


Specifically my peppers–something I never thought I’d type or say–need to be in the “ground” eight to ten weeks before being transferred. I have four varieties of peppers. I really only want maybe two pepper plants per variety. Oh, shit. This is starting to sound like math. Word problems. Math. Someone help me!

So I’m sitting there and staring at the seed packs since I have faith in their ability to TELL MEEEEE how exactly I’m supposed to ONLY end up with two plants per pack when I was sent a bajillion seeds in each pack. Am I just supposed to flip those other seeds the bird? Do I start a bunch extra in case the “chosen” happen to be duds?

An heir and a spare, if you will.

Too much math. Writing brain wants to stick its fingers–if brains had fingers–in its ears–if brains had ears in which to stick said fingers of the brain–and scream, “LALALLALALALLALAL!!!” Again, assuming said brain with said fingers and said brain ears has said brain mouth…and a vocabulary.

I just want some dirt. And I want a seed. And I want it to grow up and be amazing. And then I want to eat what comes from that amazing science stuff.

It’s the little things, people!